Plans For Physical Changes
Sunday, November 15, 2009 @ 8:01 PM
mood: 
a bit excited
listening to: none
I need stimulation.
I feel like I have to do something different.
I'm pretty excited about changing something about myself, well, physically.
Hair dye will have to wait-- after grad.
Henna on my [secret] and [secret] will also have to wait.
Piercing! I had plans like years ago [I think that was sophomore year] that I'd get a second set of ear piercing.
Just a stub on both ears.
But does that violate my body? I mean, "the body is like a temple", right? Is that a violation?
Make-up, as something that is applied and can be removed as easily, I think, is not so bad. A piercing, however, is like a permanent mark. Also, since it's intentional, will that double the "penalty"?
Then there are risks for allergies, infections, etc.
Great.
Now I feel like I should talk to a priest first or something.
I'm not that religious but if this will be the hindrance to Paradise then I'll be seriously pissed.
-_-"
*sigh* So I guess the only safe and convenient change for me is... nail polish.
for now
-_-"
I'm back to being just bored.I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
a bit excitedlistening to: none
I need stimulation.
I feel like I have to do something different.
I'm pretty excited about changing something about myself, well, physically.
Hair dye will have to wait-- after grad.
Henna on my [secret] and [secret] will also have to wait.
Piercing! I had plans like years ago [I think that was sophomore year] that I'd get a second set of ear piercing.
Just a stub on both ears.
But does that violate my body? I mean, "the body is like a temple", right? Is that a violation?
Make-up, as something that is applied and can be removed as easily, I think, is not so bad. A piercing, however, is like a permanent mark. Also, since it's intentional, will that double the "penalty"?
Then there are risks for allergies, infections, etc.
Great.
Now I feel like I should talk to a priest first or something.
I'm not that religious but if this will be the hindrance to Paradise then I'll be seriously pissed.
-_-"
*sigh* So I guess the only safe and convenient change for me is... nail polish.
for now
-_-"
I'm back to being just bored.
Labels: health and beauty, plans, ponder
I need to know "what is".
Study Spanish in Switzerland?!
Saturday, October 03, 2009 @ 6:01 PM
mood: 
cheerful
listening to: Ride Of Your Life - John Gregory
Mom and Tita Risma called me from London. It's Tita Risma's last day there. I think it's a 4-day vacation. I would love to have that kind of life. To travel around places, visit family and friends from all over the world. Tita's lucky. She lives in Switzerland and whenever she feels like it, she could travel around Europe with Tito Peter and their dog, Tino. I miss them.
Speaking of Tino, a few days ago as I was looking through photos from my vacation in Switzerland and London, I found a really cute picture of him. I edited it and posted it on my plurk.
He's adorable.
Anyway, I miss Switzerland and London... terribly. I mean, whenever it's cool here [or cold] and I smell coffee, I'd think of the airports. Whenever I hear Beethoven, I think of Europe. When I see pastries, I'd think of Tito's baking. I want to go there again. I want to travel to Spain, France, Rome, Italy! I want to eat different kinds of food, visit picturesque places, buy souvenirs, go to orchestras, see different kinds of plants and flowers, inhale that fresh air! *pants*
There's a lot I'd do when I travel.
Going back to the phone call... After asking if I'm fine here, how's Lola doing, what color of boots do I like, et cetera, Tita Risma asked me if I'd like to study Spanish in Switzerland. I gaped. She said it would be great and that my cousin Kuya Rey could visit coz he's near the country. I was speechless. I mean, the plan was I'd study Spanish at Instituto Cervates de Manila right after I graduate!
After Tita Risma, Mom tried to convince me. I told her it'd be cheaper if I study in this country. Then she said, "You won't have any say in the matter if I command you to go," and laughed.
I can't believe this! If I have my way, I'd go there right now!
Alright, gotta weigh pros and cons about this. Since it's only gonna be for vacation, it means I won't have to like live there for more than 2 months. Also, I've been dreaming of going around Europe after I graduate. (Well, if not Europe then it'd be Japan, Singapore, and Hong Kong.) Another note, I'll get to hang-out with my cousin whom I haven't seen in a decade! I miss him! He'll struggle speaking in Tagalog, have an accent when speaking in English, and I'd struggle picking words that he could understand in English! It'd be great!
I could also ask him to play the drums... and perhaps teach me some notes. Then I'd have my catharsis. Just kidding.
I guess there are only a few things that Imight worry about. I mean, if I get like a job offer after I graduate, it'd be like a loss if I don't take it. But then again... there will be other offers [hopefully] in the future.
Aside from that, years ago I planned that if ever I'd travel to those places mentioned earlier, I'd have a good DSLR, laptop, and a camcorder.
DSLR - because I love photography
Laptop - so that when I get bored of reading and tire of looking at nature, I could go OL or perhaps edit pretty pics
Camcorder - to record my experience, post vids on youtube, burn them to DVDs so that my family will get to watch me and how my vacation went, etc
All those things are seriously far from my grasp at the moment. I have no savings and even if I start now, I won't have enough. I'd rather not ask Mom for those. I remember she offered to buy me a laptop 2 years ago. I declined. I told her Peter, my 9-yr-old pc, is still working well. (It gets some problems once in a while, but it's ok. I still have enough patience for it, really.) She said it's a necessity and that Peter needs to be replaced. "Replaced", sure, but I won't sell it or give it away. He's too precious to me. For less than a decade, he's helped me cope with my loneliness and witnessed my growth. But I was stubborn so... I declined. I have a good feeling she'll buy it for me as like a graduation gift.
Unfortunately, the time when I desperately need a portable computer is now so that I won't have to go home just to edit stuff or get a document that I forgot. Other than that, I really need a bigger HD. Peter's is only 20GB. That means I get to use like 19GB or so. Yeah, it's unbelievable. I can't just find an internal HD that could match him right away coz he's an old model. Max, my Maxtor 160GB EHD got corrupted recently. I freakin' lost 18GB of back-up files. I was so disappointed. Once upon a day, I plugged it to Peter and found no files in it. I almost went hysterical. Now I'm trying to choose which recover files program thing to download and try to rationalize whether or not I'd trust Max again.
Another reason: Mom and I began planning our future house and lot years ago. The lot's ours now. The house will be done in about 8 months or so. She'll be paying for it for a good amount of time. This trip could sabotage the budget. *sigh* But then again, she won't offer if she knows she can't handle it. Hmmm... Hmmm...
Now that I think about it, this might be a trick to lure me into living in Europe. Everyone kept telling me how great it would be if I live and work there. Yeah, it would be cool but... I don't know if I'm ready for that big a step. I always think of Europe as "great-for-vacation-only" for me. It's like... I couldn't stay for a long time there. I wouldn't like that and... I have to let go of my lifestyle. Concerning my friends, well, there would be the phone and the internet but... aside from those being part of the bills I'll have to handle, it's not as good as actually talking to them face to face.
I know I'm being pessimistic. I really just don't want to get my hopes up. I don't like those times when I'm so happy and then later on, something will go wrong. I shouldn't get my hopes up. I shouldn't.
Ok, enough of my *cough*issues*cough*. I'm getting waaay ahead of myself again.
Even if it's like a trick, I think it's a good idea. The fact that it will only be for vacation means in my passport, it will be stated as that. They cannot make me stay. It will be up to me to decide whether or not I'd consider working and living there.
Well how about that? Trip to Singapore cancelled. I wonder how this will go.
Suddenly there's another thing for me to look forward to... just when I'm feeling really down lately. Thank you, dear God.
I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
cheerfullistening to: Ride Of Your Life - John Gregory
Mom and Tita Risma called me from London. It's Tita Risma's last day there. I think it's a 4-day vacation. I would love to have that kind of life. To travel around places, visit family and friends from all over the world. Tita's lucky. She lives in Switzerland and whenever she feels like it, she could travel around Europe with Tito Peter and their dog, Tino. I miss them.
Speaking of Tino, a few days ago as I was looking through photos from my vacation in Switzerland and London, I found a really cute picture of him. I edited it and posted it on my plurk.
He's adorable.
Anyway, I miss Switzerland and London... terribly. I mean, whenever it's cool here [or cold] and I smell coffee, I'd think of the airports. Whenever I hear Beethoven, I think of Europe. When I see pastries, I'd think of Tito's baking. I want to go there again. I want to travel to Spain, France, Rome, Italy! I want to eat different kinds of food, visit picturesque places, buy souvenirs, go to orchestras, see different kinds of plants and flowers, inhale that fresh air! *pants*
There's a lot I'd do when I travel.
Going back to the phone call... After asking if I'm fine here, how's Lola doing, what color of boots do I like, et cetera, Tita Risma asked me if I'd like to study Spanish in Switzerland. I gaped. She said it would be great and that my cousin Kuya Rey could visit coz he's near the country. I was speechless. I mean, the plan was I'd study Spanish at Instituto Cervates de Manila right after I graduate!
After Tita Risma, Mom tried to convince me. I told her it'd be cheaper if I study in this country. Then she said, "You won't have any say in the matter if I command you to go," and laughed.
I can't believe this! If I have my way, I'd go there right now!
Alright, gotta weigh pros and cons about this. Since it's only gonna be for vacation, it means I won't have to like live there for more than 2 months. Also, I've been dreaming of going around Europe after I graduate. (Well, if not Europe then it'd be Japan, Singapore, and Hong Kong.) Another note, I'll get to hang-out with my cousin whom I haven't seen in a decade! I miss him! He'll struggle speaking in Tagalog, have an accent when speaking in English, and I'd struggle picking words that he could understand in English! It'd be great!
I could also ask him to play the drums... and perhaps teach me some notes. Then I'd have my catharsis. Just kidding.
I guess there are only a few things that I
Aside from that, years ago I planned that if ever I'd travel to those places mentioned earlier, I'd have a good DSLR, laptop, and a camcorder.
DSLR - because I love photography
Laptop - so that when I get bored of reading and tire of looking at nature, I could go OL or perhaps edit pretty pics
Camcorder - to record my experience, post vids on youtube, burn them to DVDs so that my family will get to watch me and how my vacation went, etc
All those things are seriously far from my grasp at the moment. I have no savings and even if I start now, I won't have enough. I'd rather not ask Mom for those. I remember she offered to buy me a laptop 2 years ago. I declined. I told her Peter, my 9-yr-old pc, is still working well. (It gets some problems once in a while, but it's ok. I still have enough patience for it, really.) She said it's a necessity and that Peter needs to be replaced. "Replaced", sure, but I won't sell it or give it away. He's too precious to me. For less than a decade, he's helped me cope with my loneliness and witnessed my growth. But I was stubborn so... I declined. I have a good feeling she'll buy it for me as like a graduation gift.
Unfortunately, the time when I desperately need a portable computer is now so that I won't have to go home just to edit stuff or get a document that I forgot. Other than that, I really need a bigger HD. Peter's is only 20GB. That means I get to use like 19GB or so. Yeah, it's unbelievable. I can't just find an internal HD that could match him right away coz he's an old model. Max, my Maxtor 160GB EHD got corrupted recently. I freakin' lost 18GB of back-up files. I was so disappointed. Once upon a day, I plugged it to Peter and found no files in it. I almost went hysterical. Now I'm trying to choose which recover files program thing to download and try to rationalize whether or not I'd trust Max again.
Another reason: Mom and I began planning our future house and lot years ago. The lot's ours now. The house will be done in about 8 months or so. She'll be paying for it for a good amount of time. This trip could sabotage the budget. *sigh* But then again, she won't offer if she knows she can't handle it. Hmmm... Hmmm...
Now that I think about it, this might be a trick to lure me into living in Europe. Everyone kept telling me how great it would be if I live and work there. Yeah, it would be cool but... I don't know if I'm ready for that big a step. I always think of Europe as "great-for-vacation-only" for me. It's like... I couldn't stay for a long time there. I wouldn't like that and... I have to let go of my lifestyle. Concerning my friends, well, there would be the phone and the internet but... aside from those being part of the bills I'll have to handle, it's not as good as actually talking to them face to face.
I know I'm being pessimistic. I really just don't want to get my hopes up. I don't like those times when I'm so happy and then later on, something will go wrong. I shouldn't get my hopes up. I shouldn't.
Ok, enough of my *cough*issues*cough*. I'm getting waaay ahead of myself again.
Even if it's like a trick, I think it's a good idea. The fact that it will only be for vacation means in my passport, it will be stated as that. They cannot make me stay. It will be up to me to decide whether or not I'd consider working and living there.
Well how about that? Trip to Singapore cancelled. I wonder how this will go.
Suddenly there's another thing for me to look forward to... just when I'm feeling really down lately. Thank you, dear God.
Wishin' on a shooting star
The dreams alone won't get you far
Can't deny your feelings anymore
The world is waitin' right outside your door
What are you waiting for?
In your heart you know what you must do
You've only got yourself to answer to
Don't let fear of falling hold you down
Your spirit's flyin high above the clouds
You're goin' there
C'mon, here's your chance
Dlet it slip right through your hands
Are you ready for the ride of your life?
Your dreams are riding on the wind
Just reach out and pull them in
Get ready for the ride of your life
I need to know "what is".
FPV
Wednesday, September 30, 2009 @ 11:46 PM
mood: ok
listening to: Violin Romance #2 - Beethoven
For the first time, I saw and heard someone play the violin in person. There was no mic in front of the violinist so we couldn't really hear the melody much. Too bad. It could've been a Nodame Cantabile moment. [Except that it wasn't a music competition nor an orchestra.]
I suddenly want to ask my cousin Ate Sarah to play the violin for me. Too bad we're not close. I don't even know where in Switzerland she lives in now.
Anyway, I was saddened by the fact that I have these dreams of being able to play 3 musical instruments (the flute, the piano, and the violin) and not enough time nor money to have [formal] lessons... even for just one.
When I was a freshman in high school, I got interested with the sound of the flute. It's so peaceful. I had a one-day lesson with a friend, Suzanne Baines. She's in a band at school. She lent me her flute.. or well, a part of it: the mouthpiece. She said that one must properly blow in order to create the right sounds. She told me it took her more than like 3 days to properly blow through the mouthpiece. In an hour or so, I got the hang of it. It made me wonder if I actually have a musical talent... or if she's just being an encouraging pal.
But thanks, Suzanne. I will forever remember you for that. That and your awesome shade of natural red hair.
The next day I drew a girl wearing a kimono, sitting under a tree playing the flute. Here it is:
Yeah, it's last 2002. It's old as you can see with the paper.
closer look
My desk is also old. It looks disorganized but it's actually organized.
If you study and/or analyze my drawing closely, you'll notice what my current problem was that year.
Anywa, my flute craze passed over the years. Somehow.. when I look back to how I got interested in it in the first place, it was probably because during that year, I crave peace and tranquility. I'm not going to elaborate much on how I really do need peace that year. Maybe later. Anyway, aside from that reason, it was also perhaps because in that period of early adolescence, I am in dire need to develop an identity. It was an unconscious desire. A cousin of mine plays the violin, two play piano, one plays the guitar and one plays the drums. In the back of my mind, maybe I want something to cast me aside from them but on a certain level, be one of them too.
Ah, the adolescent years.
About the piano.. even when I was little, I am pretty much attracted to piano pieces. I used to have like one of those piano/keyboard toys that kids play with. I was serious about it though. I even composed a few short pieces. I wasn't familiar with the notes back then so I'd just label the keys with numbers and list those numbers. I was a bit ambitious about my pieces. Some took days to compose, some took like a week. I think they're really good, not the "a kid made this crap" good, no. I wish you guys could hear it. I wonder where they are now.
Around a decade ago, I watched this movie called Little Secrets when we were at my Tita Cherry's house. She had cable and that movie was on HBO. It stars Evan Rachel Wood, Michael Angarano, and David Gallagher. I didn't know Wood and Angarano that time but I do know of David Gallagher because we used to watch 7th Heaven religiously on Studio 23. Anyway, it was on that time when I first got facinated with the violin.
Years passed and at the time I got addicted to Jdramas, I found this one called Nodame Cantabile. The title was very familiar to me because I would always come across the manga at National Bookstore. I thought I'd try it since a lot of people are raving about it. I wanted to rate it myself. When I watched a couple of episodes, I noticed, I couldn't get away from it! I just had to go onto the next one. That was how the series got to me. It was awesome. I seriously recommend it. My friend May doesn't really like classical music nor Jdramas. In fact, she really doesn't like Jdramas. I practically forced her to finish at least like an episode. As it turned out, I had to force her to stop watching or else she won't come to her class!
Anyway, in connection with Nodame Cantabile, I really loved watching the characters play their instruments. I loved watching and listening to Nodame and Chiaki as well as Kiyora Miki. I never knew how much an orchestra could trigger emotions like that. It sounds a bit cheesy, but seriously, I cried in some parts. In other parts, I found myself swaying a bit from the music. I simply love it. I downloaded a bunch of pieces from the internet. Some of them I transfered to my back-up EHD, Max, that got corrupted. So sad. My favorite ones are still here though. What a relief. The cds cost a lot. I checked.
So there. I appreciate and marvel at different forms of art. Just as I've tried sketching, drawing, painting, photography, and others, I'd like to experience music... To not merely listen. I'd like to create music and be able to share the music that I create.
I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
oklistening to: Violin Romance #2 - Beethoven
For the first time, I saw and heard someone play the violin in person. There was no mic in front of the violinist so we couldn't really hear the melody much. Too bad. It could've been a Nodame Cantabile moment. [Except that it wasn't a music competition nor an orchestra.]
I suddenly want to ask my cousin Ate Sarah to play the violin for me. Too bad we're not close. I don't even know where in Switzerland she lives in now.
Anyway, I was saddened by the fact that I have these dreams of being able to play 3 musical instruments (the flute, the piano, and the violin) and not enough time nor money to have [formal] lessons... even for just one.
When I was a freshman in high school, I got interested with the sound of the flute. It's so peaceful. I had a one-day lesson with a friend, Suzanne Baines. She's in a band at school. She lent me her flute.. or well, a part of it: the mouthpiece. She said that one must properly blow in order to create the right sounds. She told me it took her more than like 3 days to properly blow through the mouthpiece. In an hour or so, I got the hang of it. It made me wonder if I actually have a musical talent... or if she's just being an encouraging pal.
But thanks, Suzanne. I will forever remember you for that. That and your awesome shade of natural red hair.
The next day I drew a girl wearing a kimono, sitting under a tree playing the flute. Here it is:
Yeah, it's last 2002. It's old as you can see with the paper.
closer look
My desk is also old. It looks disorganized but it's actually organized.
If you study and/or analyze my drawing closely, you'll notice what my current problem was that year.
Anywa, my flute craze passed over the years. Somehow.. when I look back to how I got interested in it in the first place, it was probably because during that year, I crave peace and tranquility. I'm not going to elaborate much on how I really do need peace that year. Maybe later. Anyway, aside from that reason, it was also perhaps because in that period of early adolescence, I am in dire need to develop an identity. It was an unconscious desire. A cousin of mine plays the violin, two play piano, one plays the guitar and one plays the drums. In the back of my mind, maybe I want something to cast me aside from them but on a certain level, be one of them too.
Ah, the adolescent years.
About the piano.. even when I was little, I am pretty much attracted to piano pieces. I used to have like one of those piano/keyboard toys that kids play with. I was serious about it though. I even composed a few short pieces. I wasn't familiar with the notes back then so I'd just label the keys with numbers and list those numbers. I was a bit ambitious about my pieces. Some took days to compose, some took like a week. I think they're really good, not the "a kid made this crap" good, no. I wish you guys could hear it. I wonder where they are now.
Around a decade ago, I watched this movie called Little Secrets when we were at my Tita Cherry's house. She had cable and that movie was on HBO. It stars Evan Rachel Wood, Michael Angarano, and David Gallagher. I didn't know Wood and Angarano that time but I do know of David Gallagher because we used to watch 7th Heaven religiously on Studio 23. Anyway, it was on that time when I first got facinated with the violin.
Years passed and at the time I got addicted to Jdramas, I found this one called Nodame Cantabile. The title was very familiar to me because I would always come across the manga at National Bookstore. I thought I'd try it since a lot of people are raving about it. I wanted to rate it myself. When I watched a couple of episodes, I noticed, I couldn't get away from it! I just had to go onto the next one. That was how the series got to me. It was awesome. I seriously recommend it. My friend May doesn't really like classical music nor Jdramas. In fact, she really doesn't like Jdramas. I practically forced her to finish at least like an episode. As it turned out, I had to force her to stop watching or else she won't come to her class!
Anyway, in connection with Nodame Cantabile, I really loved watching the characters play their instruments. I loved watching and listening to Nodame and Chiaki as well as Kiyora Miki. I never knew how much an orchestra could trigger emotions like that. It sounds a bit cheesy, but seriously, I cried in some parts. In other parts, I found myself swaying a bit from the music. I simply love it. I downloaded a bunch of pieces from the internet. Some of them I transfered to my back-up EHD, Max, that got corrupted. So sad. My favorite ones are still here though. What a relief. The cds cost a lot. I checked.
So there. I appreciate and marvel at different forms of art. Just as I've tried sketching, drawing, painting, photography, and others, I'd like to experience music... To not merely listen. I'd like to create music and be able to share the music that I create.
I need to know "what is".
Remained Silent
Tuesday, March 31, 2009 @ 11:55 AM
listening to: Don't Walk Away - Bethany Joy Lenz
The past Sunday I came to church surprisingly early. My head's up in the clouds though so I couldn't say I'm very proud of myself. But anyway, I actually got a seat. I don't know the measurement of the church bench but I could estimate that maybe eight people could fit there. When I came, we were only five. There's a girl and a boy to my left and a woman and a man to my right. There were respectable distances between us so I assumed the pairs don't know each other.
About five minutes after the mass began, a young couple sat beside me. My respectable distance was immediately gone (but it's cool). What annoyed me was the woman who was sitting to my right-- she hardly moved an inch. I wanted to clear my throat so bad but I didn't. I just squirmed on my seat with the old Oreo commercial jingle going on and on in my head. (Squeezed in the middle... Smack dabbed in the middle...) It's a good thing she moved a bit more after five minutes or so. The man beside her was glued to the edge of the bench and she still has that respectable distance so... *sigh* People these days.
I sat uncomfortably. It was distracting me. During the offering, as I was trying to get my money, I heard the man talked to the woman beside me. What the heck-- they actually know each other! I caught a glimpse of similar gold bands on their fingers. Wonder of wonders.
I gave a quick glance to my left. The young couple had a calm, warm vibe even though they're sitting unconveniently.
It was like I was sitting between a time lapse.
I was in the middle of an image of young, passionate love and... well, I couldn't think of a good description for the man and woman at the moment. A word comes to mind though: weariness. There was this cold atmosphere but it did not seem like they were mad at each other. They were really... distant.
I have watched movies and read books of love surviving within the passage of time but it really takes a moment like this when you're actually there and you would see such a sad sight of reality that it makes you wonder... Will that happen to me too?
I took a last glance to my left and saw what I hope for.
I took a last glance to my right and saw what I really, really do not want to happen to me in the future.
*****
I bought a mouse and a headphone yesterday. The discomfort of using my old mouse with the thought of it's foreboding dysfunctionality won't bother me again (for a while that is, until this one gets old). Also now, I could listen to the songs on my player without constantly pulling with the cord.
Anyway, do I look like a pushover?
I was in line and it was a very long line. I wasn't in a peachy mood. There's this lady who made her way beside me and asked if the line was there. I politely said yes. I thought she was going to my back (coz I was obviously in the line) but she stayed there in front of me.
What.. is up with that?
I counted up to ten seconds hoping she realize where she stands. About ten minutes passed and she's still there. Within that ten minutes, I contemplated whether or not I'd talk to her.
Her seemingly helpless expression made me think otherwise. She had that doe eyes.
And so... I remained silent.
*****
I watched some art films recently and liked it. Shout-out to Pong for the dvd! Thanks so much! The Wrestler na lang ang hindi ko pa napapanood. I'll post my review of the movies later.
Franchez, you have to watch Let the Right One In. La pelikula es muy bien. Btw, I just found out that you deleted your blog. Why?
Maan, may American version ang Pan's Labyrinth? I never knew that!
Chamie, ipapalabas ang One Litre of Tears sa GMA?
Pls, pls sana maayos ang dubbing. I love it too much, I'm actually scared of pinoy audience reviews.
*****
In regards with our OJT, we ran out of options. We will have it at Trece. For the industrial setting, Jonah and I will have it at a some kind of radio broadcasting company near Star City. I'm getting excited about it. For the educational setting, here's hoping I'd get into the school's HR or Guidance this coming semester after Len and Man.I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
The past Sunday I came to church surprisingly early. My head's up in the clouds though so I couldn't say I'm very proud of myself. But anyway, I actually got a seat. I don't know the measurement of the church bench but I could estimate that maybe eight people could fit there. When I came, we were only five. There's a girl and a boy to my left and a woman and a man to my right. There were respectable distances between us so I assumed the pairs don't know each other.
About five minutes after the mass began, a young couple sat beside me. My respectable distance was immediately gone (but it's cool). What annoyed me was the woman who was sitting to my right-- she hardly moved an inch. I wanted to clear my throat so bad but I didn't. I just squirmed on my seat with the old Oreo commercial jingle going on and on in my head. (Squeezed in the middle... Smack dabbed in the middle...) It's a good thing she moved a bit more after five minutes or so. The man beside her was glued to the edge of the bench and she still has that respectable distance so... *sigh* People these days.
I sat uncomfortably. It was distracting me. During the offering, as I was trying to get my money, I heard the man talked to the woman beside me. What the heck-- they actually know each other! I caught a glimpse of similar gold bands on their fingers. Wonder of wonders.
I gave a quick glance to my left. The young couple had a calm, warm vibe even though they're sitting unconveniently.
It was like I was sitting between a time lapse.
I was in the middle of an image of young, passionate love and... well, I couldn't think of a good description for the man and woman at the moment. A word comes to mind though: weariness. There was this cold atmosphere but it did not seem like they were mad at each other. They were really... distant.
I have watched movies and read books of love surviving within the passage of time but it really takes a moment like this when you're actually there and you would see such a sad sight of reality that it makes you wonder... Will that happen to me too?
I took a last glance to my left and saw what I hope for.
I took a last glance to my right and saw what I really, really do not want to happen to me in the future.
*****
I bought a mouse and a headphone yesterday. The discomfort of using my old mouse with the thought of it's foreboding dysfunctionality won't bother me again (for a while that is, until this one gets old). Also now, I could listen to the songs on my player without constantly pulling with the cord.
Anyway, do I look like a pushover?
I was in line and it was a very long line. I wasn't in a peachy mood. There's this lady who made her way beside me and asked if the line was there. I politely said yes. I thought she was going to my back (coz I was obviously in the line) but she stayed there in front of me.
What.. is up with that?
I counted up to ten seconds hoping she realize where she stands. About ten minutes passed and she's still there. Within that ten minutes, I contemplated whether or not I'd talk to her.
Her seemingly helpless expression made me think otherwise. She had that doe eyes.
And so... I remained silent.
*****
I watched some art films recently and liked it. Shout-out to Pong for the dvd! Thanks so much!
The Wrestler na lang ang hindi ko pa napapanood. I'll post my review of the movies later.Franchez, you have to watch Let the Right One In. La pelikula es muy bien. Btw, I just found out that you deleted your blog. Why?
Maan, may American version ang Pan's Labyrinth? I never knew that!
Chamie, ipapalabas ang One Litre of Tears sa GMA?
Pls, pls sana maayos ang dubbing. I love it too much, I'm actually scared of pinoy audience reviews.*****
In regards with our OJT, we ran out of options. We will have it at Trece. For the industrial setting, Jonah and I will have it at a some kind of radio broadcasting company near Star City. I'm getting excited about it. For the educational setting, here's hoping I'd get into the school's HR or Guidance this coming semester after Len and Man.
Labels: movie, plans, ponder, school
I need to know "what is".
Plans
Friday, October 24, 2008 @ 12:41 PM
mood: 
a bit cheerful
listening to: Kimi Dake O - Mi
I'm working on a new layout. Hopefully, it will be up tomorrow.
I hope matuloy kami ni sis Chamie today (sleep-over).
=)
First day of "classes" will be on the coming Tuesday. Maybe.I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
a bit cheerfullistening to: Kimi Dake O - Mi
I'm working on a new layout. Hopefully, it will be up tomorrow.
I hope matuloy kami ni sis Chamie today (sleep-over).
=)
What we're playing to watch:Yesterday I had the chance to talk with Kuya Raffy about the floor plans I made, the materials that we could possibly use, etc. He said there were great houses they made a while back in Quezon City and if I have time, we could go there for me to have ideas. In the coming monday, I'm going to talk to Engr. Reyes and get the floor plan of the other house ("peach")-- the one that Mom remembers, so that I could study it.
Bambino
Bokura Ga Ita
Dragon Zakura
Koizora
Nodame Cantabile
Tantei Gakuen Q (not the jdrama.. I don't have the cd yet)
... but I'm sure we won't be able to watch them all.
Oh well. There would be next time, hopefully.
First day of "classes" will be on the coming Tuesday. Maybe.
I need to know "what is".
Twilight Official Trailer and some updates
Sunday, July 20, 2008 @ 7:03 PM
mood: tired but a bit cheerful
listening to: Moment of Truth - FM Static
Quick entry. Just got home. Need to eat dinner first. So happy I bought 2 pairs of shoes. One was on sale. One's purple, the other was gold. Not sure if I could wear it to school though; gotta talk to the guards.
Later after I ate and tidy up my room and the kitchen, I'm gonna edit this entry and talk about my busy week: thesis title, the earthquake rumor, Mom's changing decision, etc.
[edit]
Or perhaps the next week. I have prelims coming up. I might not blog till it's finished. -_- Anyway-- look what's on finally!
The official trailer was released! Yay!
I'll have to comment on this later. Okay fine, one comment: Check out Robert Pattinson's look on 00:23. His eyes are GORGEOUS.
I gotta say that I was the first to sign in the reservation list for Breaking Dawn at Robinsons Imus. *cackles* Edward! Edward! Edward!
I want my own "Edward".
Ahem. Gotta stop hoping coz it ain't gonna happen. LOL
Ta-ta for now.[/edit]I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
tired but a bit cheerfullistening to: Moment of Truth - FM Static
Quick entry. Just got home. Need to eat dinner first. So happy I bought 2 pairs of shoes. One was on sale. One's purple, the other was gold. Not sure if I could wear it to school though; gotta talk to the guards.
Later after I ate and tidy up my room and the kitchen, I'm gonna edit this entry and talk about my busy week: thesis title, the earthquake rumor, Mom's changing decision, etc.
[edit]
Or perhaps the next week. I have prelims coming up. I might not blog till it's finished. -_- Anyway-- look what's on finally!
I'll have to comment on this later. Okay fine, one comment: Check out Robert Pattinson's look on 00:23. His eyes are GORGEOUS.
I gotta say that I was the first to sign in the reservation list for Breaking Dawn at Robinsons Imus. *cackles* Edward! Edward! Edward!
I want my own "Edward".Ahem. Gotta stop hoping coz it ain't gonna happen. LOL
Ta-ta for now.[/edit]
Labels: book, bought, fandom, plans, random, video
I need to know "what is".
Dreariness, Lessons, and Room details
Thursday, June 05, 2008 @ 8:48 PM
mood: 
gloomy
listening to: none
Most people think I have it easy. Most of them say I'm lucky. I suppose my carefree mask is more effective than I thought. Then again I only let those people close to me know my predicaments. (Only few of them actually care enough to look beyond the facade.) There would also be those times when I put my thoughts and feelings through something.. like drawings, pictures, poems, prose, and yes, my blog. I posted some on my old blog. Unfortunately, due to some kind of html error (might be from my part.. I don't know), my posts are not visible-- only the bolded, italized, and underlined words are. *sigh* I really don't know what happened with my editing. I kept checking the font color; they're all correct and effective in the past.
So yeah, I suppose I am in the mood to write about my gloomy state, but vagely at that. I've been meaning to do this for days, I just don't put enough effort to log on blogger. *sigh* Aside from saying that I'm feeling pretty down and lethargic lately, I guess I could also post some of the lighter news here. Let's see.. I'll be fully enrolled tomorrow with May. I already saw our schedule: for MWF it's 2pm-8pm and for TTH it's 2:30pm to 7pm. I would've been satisfied with the schedule if it starts at the usual 1pm so that right after I eat lunch I'll go directly to school and then the last hour of class would've moved to an earlier time-- but hey, I don't make schedules so.. *sigh* In addition to that, we have 3 major subjects: Experimental Psychology [help.. peep!], Cognitive and Learning Psychology, and Clinical and Abnormal Psychology-- the latter two being Seminar in Psychology (I and II).
I got off the phone with Mom earlier. I asked permission if I could have keyboard/piano lesson every Saturday, seeing as I have Saturdays vacant now. Luckily, she's fine with that. On Saturdays, I could also work on my cooking and Spanish-- both self-study. I own 3 cookbooks already and it's time to put it in use. As with my Spanish, well, I'll need to go into it further since I'll have to talk to the Consulate before I turn 21. It has something to do with retaining my citizenship. I still have my notes from Sr. Ricci (high school freshman year, my old tape recorder (for the tutorial feel), and my mom's old Spanish-English dictionary. I'm planning to buy books soon too.
In relation to driving, Mom said we could put it off since I'll actually need a car and I know I won't have it by this year or in the next. Besides, priority on her list would be a house of our own in this country. (Still don't have an specific location.) Then after that, she might want a house somewhere in Europe. (She's considering in Spain.) So yeah. Keyboard, cooking, and Spanish lessons first before driving, Japanese (I'm not going to limit myself to just self-study when it comes to Japanese), and whatever-else lessons I'll have in mind. I get to cross out some things from my Things To Do Before I Die list. Yay.
Those are going to be my distractions in the near future. At the moment, I'm pretty satisfied of how I cleaned my room. Also aside from cleaning, rearranging some things, and tidying up some clutters, I also threw away stuff that I don't need-- something I absolutely refused to do in the past. (Mom: Mia, basurera ka talaga.) I have this somewhat "sentimental attachment" with err certain things so it's kinda hard to throw or give them away, but I've decided that I have to. In the next two years, I'll need to throw away a lot of stuff anyway since I'll be moving to London so I thought I better start preparing for that now. Here's a picture of my desk-- the before and after shot:
If my mom were here and she saw how my past desk looked like, she'll probably had me arrested.. or something.
Pardon the shot; I wasn't in the mood to edit.
As you can see, I removed all of my little stuffed toys/cute paperweight figures (except my Yusuke figure coz I'll love it till I grow old damn it), some books and [the cheap] manga~s. I also rearranged some books. About the pink Disney mug I bought from London (the one near Yusuke.. if you can find Yusuke, that is), I've no clue where to put it so I put it randomly in front of the manga~s. I'll try to find a better place to put it.. and what to put in it seeing as my other purple mug has pens and stuff in it already. Now it looked like there's some sophistication to it, huh? *sigh* Still can't believe I'll turn twenty soon. In two months to be exact. I can't feel it though. Hayz.
Aside from cleaning my room, I recently bought a corkboard. As a teen, I've always wanted a corkboard and posters in my room. I'm living in an apartment with a very light coral-like wall color that it seemed err.. rather impolite to put random posters around. I did put two posters (Yu Yu Hakusho and Naruto-- both gifts) on one obscure corner though. I couldn't resist. If I had my own room, I'd go crazy designing it. I'd buy the bed sheets, curtains, pillows, arm chairs, lamps and other furnitures that I want. I'd have a wall dedicated to a collage of pictures, autographs, etc. I'd have a big bookshelf.. my cork board of sorts.. throw pillows I could faint on.. some character shrine out of my would-be obsession.. ok gotta cross that one out. I need to remind myself that I'll be around 23 when that time comes damn it. The shrine thing was a joke though if I were 14 I would've done that. Time's cruel, you know.
Going back to my corkboard. I got excited with the thought of designing it. The problem lies solely on that though. I don't know where to start! (I did some search on the net last night.) I do have some ideas before the err "research" but I still don't like them. Too random. Usually random is good, but I'd like my cork board somewhat.. organized. I'd put a Things To Do section.. a Things To Remember section.. Upcoming Important Events section.. Random Pictures section (if only I have a Polaroid).. Random Mag Cut-out Articles section.. among other things that would eventually come to me. I just need to work on the design. Ribbons would be a given. Maybe I should check out the scrapbook section at the mall some time. I'll post a pic of it here when I'm done.
*sigh* I'll post my Tag answers here later. I'm still procrastinating on that, sorry. Well, gotta eat dinner now. It's rather late, I know. I woke up late too anyway. Peace out.I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
gloomylistening to: none
Most people think I have it easy. Most of them say I'm lucky. I suppose my carefree mask is more effective than I thought. Then again I only let those people close to me know my predicaments. (Only few of them actually care enough to look beyond the facade.) There would also be those times when I put my thoughts and feelings through something.. like drawings, pictures, poems, prose, and yes, my blog. I posted some on my old blog. Unfortunately, due to some kind of html error (might be from my part.. I don't know), my posts are not visible-- only the bolded, italized, and underlined words are. *sigh* I really don't know what happened with my editing. I kept checking the font color; they're all correct and effective in the past.
So yeah, I suppose I am in the mood to write about my gloomy state, but vagely at that. I've been meaning to do this for days, I just don't put enough effort to log on blogger. *sigh* Aside from saying that I'm feeling pretty down and lethargic lately, I guess I could also post some of the lighter news here. Let's see.. I'll be fully enrolled tomorrow with May. I already saw our schedule: for MWF it's 2pm-8pm and for TTH it's 2:30pm to 7pm. I would've been satisfied with the schedule if it starts at the usual 1pm so that right after I eat lunch I'll go directly to school and then the last hour of class would've moved to an earlier time-- but hey, I don't make schedules so.. *sigh* In addition to that, we have 3 major subjects: Experimental Psychology [help.. peep!], Cognitive and Learning Psychology, and Clinical and Abnormal Psychology-- the latter two being Seminar in Psychology (I and II).
I got off the phone with Mom earlier. I asked permission if I could have keyboard/piano lesson every Saturday, seeing as I have Saturdays vacant now. Luckily, she's fine with that. On Saturdays, I could also work on my cooking and Spanish-- both self-study. I own 3 cookbooks already and it's time to put it in use. As with my Spanish, well, I'll need to go into it further since I'll have to talk to the Consulate before I turn 21. It has something to do with retaining my citizenship. I still have my notes from Sr. Ricci (high school freshman year, my old tape recorder (for the tutorial feel), and my mom's old Spanish-English dictionary. I'm planning to buy books soon too.
In relation to driving, Mom said we could put it off since I'll actually need a car and I know I won't have it by this year or in the next. Besides, priority on her list would be a house of our own in this country. (Still don't have an specific location.) Then after that, she might want a house somewhere in Europe. (She's considering in Spain.) So yeah. Keyboard, cooking, and Spanish lessons first before driving, Japanese (I'm not going to limit myself to just self-study when it comes to Japanese), and whatever-else lessons I'll have in mind. I get to cross out some things from my Things To Do Before I Die list. Yay.
Those are going to be my distractions in the near future. At the moment, I'm pretty satisfied of how I cleaned my room. Also aside from cleaning, rearranging some things, and tidying up some clutters, I also threw away stuff that I don't need-- something I absolutely refused to do in the past. (Mom: Mia, basurera ka talaga.) I have this somewhat "sentimental attachment" with err certain things so it's kinda hard to throw or give them away, but I've decided that I have to. In the next two years, I'll need to throw away a lot of stuff anyway since I'll be moving to London so I thought I better start preparing for that now. Here's a picture of my desk-- the before and after shot:
If my mom were here and she saw how my past desk looked like, she'll probably had me arrested.. or something.
Pardon the shot; I wasn't in the mood to edit.
As you can see, I removed all of my little stuffed toys/cute paperweight figures (except my Yusuke figure coz I'll love it till I grow old damn it), some books and [the cheap] manga~s. I also rearranged some books. About the pink Disney mug I bought from London (the one near Yusuke.. if you can find Yusuke, that is), I've no clue where to put it so I put it randomly in front of the manga~s. I'll try to find a better place to put it.. and what to put in it seeing as my other purple mug has pens and stuff in it already. Now it looked like there's some sophistication to it, huh? *sigh* Still can't believe I'll turn twenty soon. In two months to be exact. I can't feel it though. Hayz.
Aside from cleaning my room, I recently bought a corkboard. As a teen, I've always wanted a corkboard and posters in my room. I'm living in an apartment with a very light coral-like wall color that it seemed err.. rather impolite to put random posters around. I did put two posters (Yu Yu Hakusho and Naruto-- both gifts) on one obscure corner though. I couldn't resist. If I had my own room, I'd go crazy designing it. I'd buy the bed sheets, curtains, pillows, arm chairs, lamps and other furnitures that I want. I'd have a wall dedicated to a collage of pictures, autographs, etc. I'd have a big bookshelf.. my cork board of sorts.. throw pillows I could faint on.. some character shrine out of my would-be obsession.. ok gotta cross that one out. I need to remind myself that I'll be around 23 when that time comes damn it. The shrine thing was a joke though if I were 14 I would've done that. Time's cruel, you know.
Going back to my corkboard. I got excited with the thought of designing it. The problem lies solely on that though. I don't know where to start! (I did some search on the net last night.) I do have some ideas before the err "research" but I still don't like them. Too random. Usually random is good, but I'd like my cork board somewhat.. organized. I'd put a Things To Do section.. a Things To Remember section.. Upcoming Important Events section.. Random Pictures section (if only I have a Polaroid).. Random Mag Cut-out Articles section.. among other things that would eventually come to me. I just need to work on the design. Ribbons would be a given. Maybe I should check out the scrapbook section at the mall some time. I'll post a pic of it here when I'm done.
*sigh* I'll post my Tag answers here later. I'm still procrastinating on that, sorry. Well, gotta eat dinner now. It's rather late, I know. I woke up late too anyway. Peace out.
Labels: melancholy, plans, random, schedule, school
I need to know "what is".
