Dreariness, Lessons, and Room details
Thursday, June 05, 2008 @ 8:48 PM
mood: 
gloomy
listening to: none
Most people think I have it easy. Most of them say I'm lucky. I suppose my carefree mask is more effective than I thought. Then again I only let those people close to me know my predicaments. (Only few of them actually care enough to look beyond the facade.) There would also be those times when I put my thoughts and feelings through something.. like drawings, pictures, poems, prose, and yes, my blog. I posted some on my old blog. Unfortunately, due to some kind of html error (might be from my part.. I don't know), my posts are not visible-- only the bolded, italized, and underlined words are. *sigh* I really don't know what happened with my editing. I kept checking the font color; they're all correct and effective in the past.
So yeah, I suppose I am in the mood to write about my gloomy state, but vagely at that. I've been meaning to do this for days, I just don't put enough effort to log on blogger. *sigh* Aside from saying that I'm feeling pretty down and lethargic lately, I guess I could also post some of the lighter news here. Let's see.. I'll be fully enrolled tomorrow with May. I already saw our schedule: for MWF it's 2pm-8pm and for TTH it's 2:30pm to 7pm. I would've been satisfied with the schedule if it starts at the usual 1pm so that right after I eat lunch I'll go directly to school and then the last hour of class would've moved to an earlier time-- but hey, I don't make schedules so.. *sigh* In addition to that, we have 3 major subjects: Experimental Psychology [help.. peep!], Cognitive and Learning Psychology, and Clinical and Abnormal Psychology-- the latter two being Seminar in Psychology (I and II).
I got off the phone with Mom earlier. I asked permission if I could have keyboard/piano lesson every Saturday, seeing as I have Saturdays vacant now. Luckily, she's fine with that. On Saturdays, I could also work on my cooking and Spanish-- both self-study. I own 3 cookbooks already and it's time to put it in use. As with my Spanish, well, I'll need to go into it further since I'll have to talk to the Consulate before I turn 21. It has something to do with retaining my citizenship. I still have my notes from Sr. Ricci (high school freshman year, my old tape recorder (for the tutorial feel), and my mom's old Spanish-English dictionary. I'm planning to buy books soon too.
In relation to driving, Mom said we could put it off since I'll actually need a car and I know I won't have it by this year or in the next. Besides, priority on her list would be a house of our own in this country. (Still don't have an specific location.) Then after that, she might want a house somewhere in Europe. (She's considering in Spain.) So yeah. Keyboard, cooking, and Spanish lessons first before driving, Japanese (I'm not going to limit myself to just self-study when it comes to Japanese), and whatever-else lessons I'll have in mind. I get to cross out some things from my Things To Do Before I Die list. Yay.
Those are going to be my distractions in the near future. At the moment, I'm pretty satisfied of how I cleaned my room. Also aside from cleaning, rearranging some things, and tidying up some clutters, I also threw away stuff that I don't need-- something I absolutely refused to do in the past. (Mom: Mia, basurera ka talaga.) I have this somewhat "sentimental attachment" with err certain things so it's kinda hard to throw or give them away, but I've decided that I have to. In the next two years, I'll need to throw away a lot of stuff anyway since I'll be moving to London so I thought I better start preparing for that now. Here's a picture of my desk-- the before and after shot:
If my mom were here and she saw how my past desk looked like, she'll probably had me arrested.. or something.
Pardon the shot; I wasn't in the mood to edit.
As you can see, I removed all of my little stuffed toys/cute paperweight figures (except my Yusuke figure coz I'll love it till I grow old damn it), some books and [the cheap] manga~s. I also rearranged some books. About the pink Disney mug I bought from London (the one near Yusuke.. if you can find Yusuke, that is), I've no clue where to put it so I put it randomly in front of the manga~s. I'll try to find a better place to put it.. and what to put in it seeing as my other purple mug has pens and stuff in it already. Now it looked like there's some sophistication to it, huh? *sigh* Still can't believe I'll turn twenty soon. In two months to be exact. I can't feel it though. Hayz.
Aside from cleaning my room, I recently bought a corkboard. As a teen, I've always wanted a corkboard and posters in my room. I'm living in an apartment with a very light coral-like wall color that it seemed err.. rather impolite to put random posters around. I did put two posters (Yu Yu Hakusho and Naruto-- both gifts) on one obscure corner though. I couldn't resist. If I had my own room, I'd go crazy designing it. I'd buy the bed sheets, curtains, pillows, arm chairs, lamps and other furnitures that I want. I'd have a wall dedicated to a collage of pictures, autographs, etc. I'd have a big bookshelf.. my cork board of sorts.. throw pillows I could faint on.. some character shrine out of my would-be obsession.. ok gotta cross that one out. I need to remind myself that I'll be around 23 when that time comes damn it. The shrine thing was a joke though if I were 14 I would've done that. Time's cruel, you know.
Going back to my corkboard. I got excited with the thought of designing it. The problem lies solely on that though. I don't know where to start! (I did some search on the net last night.) I do have some ideas before the err "research" but I still don't like them. Too random. Usually random is good, but I'd like my cork board somewhat.. organized. I'd put a Things To Do section.. a Things To Remember section.. Upcoming Important Events section.. Random Pictures section (if only I have a Polaroid).. Random Mag Cut-out Articles section.. among other things that would eventually come to me. I just need to work on the design. Ribbons would be a given. Maybe I should check out the scrapbook section at the mall some time. I'll post a pic of it here when I'm done.
*sigh* I'll post my Tag answers here later. I'm still procrastinating on that, sorry. Well, gotta eat dinner now. It's rather late, I know. I woke up late too anyway. Peace out.I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
gloomylistening to: none
Most people think I have it easy. Most of them say I'm lucky. I suppose my carefree mask is more effective than I thought. Then again I only let those people close to me know my predicaments. (Only few of them actually care enough to look beyond the facade.) There would also be those times when I put my thoughts and feelings through something.. like drawings, pictures, poems, prose, and yes, my blog. I posted some on my old blog. Unfortunately, due to some kind of html error (might be from my part.. I don't know), my posts are not visible-- only the bolded, italized, and underlined words are. *sigh* I really don't know what happened with my editing. I kept checking the font color; they're all correct and effective in the past.
So yeah, I suppose I am in the mood to write about my gloomy state, but vagely at that. I've been meaning to do this for days, I just don't put enough effort to log on blogger. *sigh* Aside from saying that I'm feeling pretty down and lethargic lately, I guess I could also post some of the lighter news here. Let's see.. I'll be fully enrolled tomorrow with May. I already saw our schedule: for MWF it's 2pm-8pm and for TTH it's 2:30pm to 7pm. I would've been satisfied with the schedule if it starts at the usual 1pm so that right after I eat lunch I'll go directly to school and then the last hour of class would've moved to an earlier time-- but hey, I don't make schedules so.. *sigh* In addition to that, we have 3 major subjects: Experimental Psychology [help.. peep!], Cognitive and Learning Psychology, and Clinical and Abnormal Psychology-- the latter two being Seminar in Psychology (I and II).
I got off the phone with Mom earlier. I asked permission if I could have keyboard/piano lesson every Saturday, seeing as I have Saturdays vacant now. Luckily, she's fine with that. On Saturdays, I could also work on my cooking and Spanish-- both self-study. I own 3 cookbooks already and it's time to put it in use. As with my Spanish, well, I'll need to go into it further since I'll have to talk to the Consulate before I turn 21. It has something to do with retaining my citizenship. I still have my notes from Sr. Ricci (high school freshman year, my old tape recorder (for the tutorial feel), and my mom's old Spanish-English dictionary. I'm planning to buy books soon too.
In relation to driving, Mom said we could put it off since I'll actually need a car and I know I won't have it by this year or in the next. Besides, priority on her list would be a house of our own in this country. (Still don't have an specific location.) Then after that, she might want a house somewhere in Europe. (She's considering in Spain.) So yeah. Keyboard, cooking, and Spanish lessons first before driving, Japanese (I'm not going to limit myself to just self-study when it comes to Japanese), and whatever-else lessons I'll have in mind. I get to cross out some things from my Things To Do Before I Die list. Yay.
Those are going to be my distractions in the near future. At the moment, I'm pretty satisfied of how I cleaned my room. Also aside from cleaning, rearranging some things, and tidying up some clutters, I also threw away stuff that I don't need-- something I absolutely refused to do in the past. (Mom: Mia, basurera ka talaga.) I have this somewhat "sentimental attachment" with err certain things so it's kinda hard to throw or give them away, but I've decided that I have to. In the next two years, I'll need to throw away a lot of stuff anyway since I'll be moving to London so I thought I better start preparing for that now. Here's a picture of my desk-- the before and after shot:
If my mom were here and she saw how my past desk looked like, she'll probably had me arrested.. or something.
Pardon the shot; I wasn't in the mood to edit.
As you can see, I removed all of my little stuffed toys/cute paperweight figures (except my Yusuke figure coz I'll love it till I grow old damn it), some books and [the cheap] manga~s. I also rearranged some books. About the pink Disney mug I bought from London (the one near Yusuke.. if you can find Yusuke, that is), I've no clue where to put it so I put it randomly in front of the manga~s. I'll try to find a better place to put it.. and what to put in it seeing as my other purple mug has pens and stuff in it already. Now it looked like there's some sophistication to it, huh? *sigh* Still can't believe I'll turn twenty soon. In two months to be exact. I can't feel it though. Hayz.
Aside from cleaning my room, I recently bought a corkboard. As a teen, I've always wanted a corkboard and posters in my room. I'm living in an apartment with a very light coral-like wall color that it seemed err.. rather impolite to put random posters around. I did put two posters (Yu Yu Hakusho and Naruto-- both gifts) on one obscure corner though. I couldn't resist. If I had my own room, I'd go crazy designing it. I'd buy the bed sheets, curtains, pillows, arm chairs, lamps and other furnitures that I want. I'd have a wall dedicated to a collage of pictures, autographs, etc. I'd have a big bookshelf.. my cork board of sorts.. throw pillows I could faint on.. some character shrine out of my would-be obsession.. ok gotta cross that one out. I need to remind myself that I'll be around 23 when that time comes damn it. The shrine thing was a joke though if I were 14 I would've done that. Time's cruel, you know.
Going back to my corkboard. I got excited with the thought of designing it. The problem lies solely on that though. I don't know where to start! (I did some search on the net last night.) I do have some ideas before the err "research" but I still don't like them. Too random. Usually random is good, but I'd like my cork board somewhat.. organized. I'd put a Things To Do section.. a Things To Remember section.. Upcoming Important Events section.. Random Pictures section (if only I have a Polaroid).. Random Mag Cut-out Articles section.. among other things that would eventually come to me. I just need to work on the design. Ribbons would be a given. Maybe I should check out the scrapbook section at the mall some time. I'll post a pic of it here when I'm done.
*sigh* I'll post my Tag answers here later. I'm still procrastinating on that, sorry. Well, gotta eat dinner now. It's rather late, I know. I woke up late too anyway. Peace out.
Labels: melancholy, plans, random, schedule, school
I need to know "what is".
The hopefully final sched
Tuesday, April 08, 2008 @ 11:34 PM
mood: 
stressed
listening to: Tangled Up In Me - Skye Sweetnam
I never thought I'd live the day when I get tired of SM. I had to keep coming to SM to Active Travel and other travel agencies for days to check if there are available flights to London or Switzerland. (As you can see, we're really on a tight spot.) I had a seat at Cathay Pacific but unfortunately it was cancelled due to some holiday that I don't bother to know. Then after two days later I got a seat on Etihad airways. So yeah, I get to roam around the mall, checking out some of my favorite clothes stores and whatnots. Look at the shirt I bought from GG. "Sorry, it's not my day to care." I love it. (Totally opposite on my current predicament.) XD As always, I also go to the bookstores. I swear I still couldn't find a good enough dream analysis book, and a copy of Tithe: The Modern Faerie Tale. The sequel, Ironside and Valiant is always available though. I can't read a book without starting with the first one. (But I must confess I had skipped a second book from a certain fav trilogy. The story still made sense to me so it's ok haha-- and I'll buy the book when I'll have extra money.) And then there's the The Looking Glass Wars. I find it very interesting. I haven't seen the sequel book, Seeing Red, anywhere though. By the way, I've been dying to read Twilight. Frances, lucky you. I wonder if I'll like Edward Cullen too. I wonder.
This afternoon I got a call from my mom. She told me that she's going to Germany so that the ticket won't be wasted. She's so lucky. I really really wanna see Tita Phine and my cousin Rey. It's been so long. *sigh* She also told me that they a good plan and that she bought me an electronic ticket-- London to Switzerland. So here's my schedule: (the final, I hope] *crosses fingers on both hands*
I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
stressedlistening to: Tangled Up In Me - Skye Sweetnam
I never thought I'd live the day when I get tired of SM. I had to keep coming to SM to Active Travel and other travel agencies for days to check if there are available flights to London or Switzerland. (As you can see, we're really on a tight spot.) I had a seat at Cathay Pacific but unfortunately it was cancelled due to some holiday that I don't bother to know. Then after two days later I got a seat on Etihad airways. So yeah, I get to roam around the mall, checking out some of my favorite clothes stores and whatnots. Look at the shirt I bought from GG. "Sorry, it's not my day to care." I love it. (Totally opposite on my current predicament.) XD As always, I also go to the bookstores. I swear I still couldn't find a good enough dream analysis book, and a copy of Tithe: The Modern Faerie Tale. The sequel, Ironside and Valiant is always available though. I can't read a book without starting with the first one. (But I must confess I had skipped a second book from a certain fav trilogy. The story still made sense to me so it's ok haha-- and I'll buy the book when I'll have extra money.) And then there's the The Looking Glass Wars. I find it very interesting. I haven't seen the sequel book, Seeing Red, anywhere though. By the way, I've been dying to read Twilight. Frances, lucky you. I wonder if I'll like Edward Cullen too. I wonder.This afternoon I got a call from my mom. She told me that she's going to Germany so that the ticket won't be wasted. She's so lucky. I really really wanna see Tita Phine and my cousin Rey. It's been so long. *sigh* She also told me that they a good plan and that she bought me an electronic ticket-- London to Switzerland. So here's my schedule: (the final, I hope] *crosses fingers on both hands*
April 14 - April 15Estimated time of everything: approximately 23 hrs. It's almost 2 days. *sigh* This must be my punishment for my incompetence of reading European passport expiration dates. Well, it's better than not going, right? I won't care if I'm dead tired as long as I get to be with my mother dear. Sana matuloy naaa.
04:10pm - departure from Manila
08:45pm - arrival to Abu Dhabi
02:45am - departure from Abu Dhabi
07:30am - arrival to London [Heathrow]
[go to British Airlines through taxi]
12:00pm - departure from Heathrow
03:00pm - arrival to Switzerland [Zurich]
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."Thanks, Marie. You don't know of it but your text messages help me calm down sometimes. I miss you, girl.
~ Jeremiah 29:11
Labels: book, bought, schedule, travel
I need to know "what is".
Leaving on a Jet Plane
Sunday, March 30, 2008 @ 7:34 PM
mood: upset
listening to: Pathetique - Beethoven
I've been saying this since last night to sis Chamie (she's staying over) and I'm gonna say it again: "I still can't believe I'm really going away tomorrow!" I'm excited and worried at the same time. It's been exactly like 5 years since my last flight to another country. I was with my mom back then so I didn't worry much about going around the airport but this time I'm all on my own.
I just got off the phone with my mom and we had an argument. Whenever something doesn't go according to plan, she goes panic-striken. I had been aware that most people in my family have this A-type personality but over my observation for the past couple of years, my mom and her siblings seem to be getting "worse". Don't get me wrong, I love them and their perfectionism works on the positive side too but sometimes there are just those times when the pressure gets to me, you know? I know I kinda have that sort of personality too but at least I'm not in danger of heart attacks, high/low blood pressures and what-nots... yet. Most of the time, I just wish they become calmer individuals. They really, really worry me especially since they're so far away.
In regards of how I handle my emotions and ordeals, when I'm with impatient people, I become this calm person who delivers soothing words of wisdom, but when I'm with a calm and patient person, I become the opposite. It's like I balance out the emotions running along the situation. That sounds pretty stupid to me because I would argue the fact that a person must be patient regardless of what type of person/people [s]he is with and in any type of situation, right? (I always say, "Patience is a virtue.") But I guess people nowadays are really problematic to the point that they could care less about being calm and patient. *shrugs* That and because no two people are alike, and it's not like I could force people to change just coz I don't like panic-striken, neurotic tendencies. But anyway, going back to what I said, yeah I kinda have that type of personality too but I control my emotions once I become aware that I am starting to have nervous attacks.
So yeah, I'm from the family of worry-warts. Sad to say, I might become more like them in the future but(!) since I am already conscious of that expectation, I shall try to fight it... somehow. I am a psychology major after all. Oh and another thing: I'll spill [some] beans here. One of the reasons why I took psychology is to "help" and understand more about my family members' neurotic tendencies and other fields of their behavior. In addition to that, perhaps I could even make some research or theories out of my tests and observations of them.I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
upsetlistening to: Pathetique - Beethoven
I've been saying this since last night to sis Chamie (she's staying over) and I'm gonna say it again: "I still can't believe I'm really going away tomorrow!" I'm excited and worried at the same time. It's been exactly like 5 years since my last flight to another country. I was with my mom back then so I didn't worry much about going around the airport but this time I'm all on my own.
My schedule:
12:00am - wake up and get ready
04:00am - travel to the airport
08:20am - departure from Manila
11:50am - arrival to Singapore (connecting flight)
12:45pm - departure from Singapore
19:10pm - arrival at London [Heathrow]
I just got off the phone with my mom and we had an argument. Whenever something doesn't go according to plan, she goes panic-striken. I had been aware that most people in my family have this A-type personality but over my observation for the past couple of years, my mom and her siblings seem to be getting "worse". Don't get me wrong, I love them and their perfectionism works on the positive side too but sometimes there are just those times when the pressure gets to me, you know? I know I kinda have that sort of personality too but at least I'm not in danger of heart attacks, high/low blood pressures and what-nots... yet. Most of the time, I just wish they become calmer individuals. They really, really worry me especially since they're so far away.
In regards of how I handle my emotions and ordeals, when I'm with impatient people, I become this calm person who delivers soothing words of wisdom, but when I'm with a calm and patient person, I become the opposite. It's like I balance out the emotions running along the situation. That sounds pretty stupid to me because I would argue the fact that a person must be patient regardless of what type of person/people [s]he is with and in any type of situation, right? (I always say, "Patience is a virtue.") But I guess people nowadays are really problematic to the point that they could care less about being calm and patient. *shrugs* That and because no two people are alike, and it's not like I could force people to change just coz I don't like panic-striken, neurotic tendencies. But anyway, going back to what I said, yeah I kinda have that type of personality too but I control my emotions once I become aware that I am starting to have nervous attacks.
So yeah, I'm from the family of worry-warts. Sad to say, I might become more like them in the future but(!) since I am already conscious of that expectation, I shall try to fight it... somehow. I am a psychology major after all. Oh and another thing: I'll spill [some] beans here. One of the reasons why I took psychology is to "help" and understand more about my family members' neurotic tendencies and other fields of their behavior. In addition to that, perhaps I could even make some research or theories out of my tests and observations of them.
Labels: family, psychology, schedule, travel
I need to know "what is".
