Dreariness, Lessons, and Room details
Thursday, June 05, 2008 @ 8:48 PM
mood: 
gloomy
listening to: none
Most people think I have it easy. Most of them say I'm lucky. I suppose my carefree mask is more effective than I thought. Then again I only let those people close to me know my predicaments. (Only few of them actually care enough to look beyond the facade.) There would also be those times when I put my thoughts and feelings through something.. like drawings, pictures, poems, prose, and yes, my blog. I posted some on my old blog. Unfortunately, due to some kind of html error (might be from my part.. I don't know), my posts are not visible-- only the bolded, italized, and underlined words are. *sigh* I really don't know what happened with my editing. I kept checking the font color; they're all correct and effective in the past.
So yeah, I suppose I am in the mood to write about my gloomy state, but vagely at that. I've been meaning to do this for days, I just don't put enough effort to log on blogger. *sigh* Aside from saying that I'm feeling pretty down and lethargic lately, I guess I could also post some of the lighter news here. Let's see.. I'll be fully enrolled tomorrow with May. I already saw our schedule: for MWF it's 2pm-8pm and for TTH it's 2:30pm to 7pm. I would've been satisfied with the schedule if it starts at the usual 1pm so that right after I eat lunch I'll go directly to school and then the last hour of class would've moved to an earlier time-- but hey, I don't make schedules so.. *sigh* In addition to that, we have 3 major subjects: Experimental Psychology [help.. peep!], Cognitive and Learning Psychology, and Clinical and Abnormal Psychology-- the latter two being Seminar in Psychology (I and II).
I got off the phone with Mom earlier. I asked permission if I could have keyboard/piano lesson every Saturday, seeing as I have Saturdays vacant now. Luckily, she's fine with that. On Saturdays, I could also work on my cooking and Spanish-- both self-study. I own 3 cookbooks already and it's time to put it in use. As with my Spanish, well, I'll need to go into it further since I'll have to talk to the Consulate before I turn 21. It has something to do with retaining my citizenship. I still have my notes from Sr. Ricci (high school freshman year, my old tape recorder (for the tutorial feel), and my mom's old Spanish-English dictionary. I'm planning to buy books soon too.
In relation to driving, Mom said we could put it off since I'll actually need a car and I know I won't have it by this year or in the next. Besides, priority on her list would be a house of our own in this country. (Still don't have an specific location.) Then after that, she might want a house somewhere in Europe. (She's considering in Spain.) So yeah. Keyboard, cooking, and Spanish lessons first before driving, Japanese (I'm not going to limit myself to just self-study when it comes to Japanese), and whatever-else lessons I'll have in mind. I get to cross out some things from my Things To Do Before I Die list. Yay.
Those are going to be my distractions in the near future. At the moment, I'm pretty satisfied of how I cleaned my room. Also aside from cleaning, rearranging some things, and tidying up some clutters, I also threw away stuff that I don't need-- something I absolutely refused to do in the past. (Mom: Mia, basurera ka talaga.) I have this somewhat "sentimental attachment" with err certain things so it's kinda hard to throw or give them away, but I've decided that I have to. In the next two years, I'll need to throw away a lot of stuff anyway since I'll be moving to London so I thought I better start preparing for that now. Here's a picture of my desk-- the before and after shot:
If my mom were here and she saw how my past desk looked like, she'll probably had me arrested.. or something.
Pardon the shot; I wasn't in the mood to edit.
As you can see, I removed all of my little stuffed toys/cute paperweight figures (except my Yusuke figure coz I'll love it till I grow old damn it), some books and [the cheap] manga~s. I also rearranged some books. About the pink Disney mug I bought from London (the one near Yusuke.. if you can find Yusuke, that is), I've no clue where to put it so I put it randomly in front of the manga~s. I'll try to find a better place to put it.. and what to put in it seeing as my other purple mug has pens and stuff in it already. Now it looked like there's some sophistication to it, huh? *sigh* Still can't believe I'll turn twenty soon. In two months to be exact. I can't feel it though. Hayz.
Aside from cleaning my room, I recently bought a corkboard. As a teen, I've always wanted a corkboard and posters in my room. I'm living in an apartment with a very light coral-like wall color that it seemed err.. rather impolite to put random posters around. I did put two posters (Yu Yu Hakusho and Naruto-- both gifts) on one obscure corner though. I couldn't resist. If I had my own room, I'd go crazy designing it. I'd buy the bed sheets, curtains, pillows, arm chairs, lamps and other furnitures that I want. I'd have a wall dedicated to a collage of pictures, autographs, etc. I'd have a big bookshelf.. my cork board of sorts.. throw pillows I could faint on.. some character shrine out of my would-be obsession.. ok gotta cross that one out. I need to remind myself that I'll be around 23 when that time comes damn it. The shrine thing was a joke though if I were 14 I would've done that. Time's cruel, you know.
Going back to my corkboard. I got excited with the thought of designing it. The problem lies solely on that though. I don't know where to start! (I did some search on the net last night.) I do have some ideas before the err "research" but I still don't like them. Too random. Usually random is good, but I'd like my cork board somewhat.. organized. I'd put a Things To Do section.. a Things To Remember section.. Upcoming Important Events section.. Random Pictures section (if only I have a Polaroid).. Random Mag Cut-out Articles section.. among other things that would eventually come to me. I just need to work on the design. Ribbons would be a given. Maybe I should check out the scrapbook section at the mall some time. I'll post a pic of it here when I'm done.
*sigh* I'll post my Tag answers here later. I'm still procrastinating on that, sorry. Well, gotta eat dinner now. It's rather late, I know. I woke up late too anyway. Peace out.I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".
gloomylistening to: none
Most people think I have it easy. Most of them say I'm lucky. I suppose my carefree mask is more effective than I thought. Then again I only let those people close to me know my predicaments. (Only few of them actually care enough to look beyond the facade.) There would also be those times when I put my thoughts and feelings through something.. like drawings, pictures, poems, prose, and yes, my blog. I posted some on my old blog. Unfortunately, due to some kind of html error (might be from my part.. I don't know), my posts are not visible-- only the bolded, italized, and underlined words are. *sigh* I really don't know what happened with my editing. I kept checking the font color; they're all correct and effective in the past.
So yeah, I suppose I am in the mood to write about my gloomy state, but vagely at that. I've been meaning to do this for days, I just don't put enough effort to log on blogger. *sigh* Aside from saying that I'm feeling pretty down and lethargic lately, I guess I could also post some of the lighter news here. Let's see.. I'll be fully enrolled tomorrow with May. I already saw our schedule: for MWF it's 2pm-8pm and for TTH it's 2:30pm to 7pm. I would've been satisfied with the schedule if it starts at the usual 1pm so that right after I eat lunch I'll go directly to school and then the last hour of class would've moved to an earlier time-- but hey, I don't make schedules so.. *sigh* In addition to that, we have 3 major subjects: Experimental Psychology [help.. peep!], Cognitive and Learning Psychology, and Clinical and Abnormal Psychology-- the latter two being Seminar in Psychology (I and II).
I got off the phone with Mom earlier. I asked permission if I could have keyboard/piano lesson every Saturday, seeing as I have Saturdays vacant now. Luckily, she's fine with that. On Saturdays, I could also work on my cooking and Spanish-- both self-study. I own 3 cookbooks already and it's time to put it in use. As with my Spanish, well, I'll need to go into it further since I'll have to talk to the Consulate before I turn 21. It has something to do with retaining my citizenship. I still have my notes from Sr. Ricci (high school freshman year, my old tape recorder (for the tutorial feel), and my mom's old Spanish-English dictionary. I'm planning to buy books soon too.
In relation to driving, Mom said we could put it off since I'll actually need a car and I know I won't have it by this year or in the next. Besides, priority on her list would be a house of our own in this country. (Still don't have an specific location.) Then after that, she might want a house somewhere in Europe. (She's considering in Spain.) So yeah. Keyboard, cooking, and Spanish lessons first before driving, Japanese (I'm not going to limit myself to just self-study when it comes to Japanese), and whatever-else lessons I'll have in mind. I get to cross out some things from my Things To Do Before I Die list. Yay.
Those are going to be my distractions in the near future. At the moment, I'm pretty satisfied of how I cleaned my room. Also aside from cleaning, rearranging some things, and tidying up some clutters, I also threw away stuff that I don't need-- something I absolutely refused to do in the past. (Mom: Mia, basurera ka talaga.) I have this somewhat "sentimental attachment" with err certain things so it's kinda hard to throw or give them away, but I've decided that I have to. In the next two years, I'll need to throw away a lot of stuff anyway since I'll be moving to London so I thought I better start preparing for that now. Here's a picture of my desk-- the before and after shot:
If my mom were here and she saw how my past desk looked like, she'll probably had me arrested.. or something.
Pardon the shot; I wasn't in the mood to edit.
As you can see, I removed all of my little stuffed toys/cute paperweight figures (except my Yusuke figure coz I'll love it till I grow old damn it), some books and [the cheap] manga~s. I also rearranged some books. About the pink Disney mug I bought from London (the one near Yusuke.. if you can find Yusuke, that is), I've no clue where to put it so I put it randomly in front of the manga~s. I'll try to find a better place to put it.. and what to put in it seeing as my other purple mug has pens and stuff in it already. Now it looked like there's some sophistication to it, huh? *sigh* Still can't believe I'll turn twenty soon. In two months to be exact. I can't feel it though. Hayz.
Aside from cleaning my room, I recently bought a corkboard. As a teen, I've always wanted a corkboard and posters in my room. I'm living in an apartment with a very light coral-like wall color that it seemed err.. rather impolite to put random posters around. I did put two posters (Yu Yu Hakusho and Naruto-- both gifts) on one obscure corner though. I couldn't resist. If I had my own room, I'd go crazy designing it. I'd buy the bed sheets, curtains, pillows, arm chairs, lamps and other furnitures that I want. I'd have a wall dedicated to a collage of pictures, autographs, etc. I'd have a big bookshelf.. my cork board of sorts.. throw pillows I could faint on.. some character shrine out of my would-be obsession.. ok gotta cross that one out. I need to remind myself that I'll be around 23 when that time comes damn it. The shrine thing was a joke though if I were 14 I would've done that. Time's cruel, you know.
Going back to my corkboard. I got excited with the thought of designing it. The problem lies solely on that though. I don't know where to start! (I did some search on the net last night.) I do have some ideas before the err "research" but I still don't like them. Too random. Usually random is good, but I'd like my cork board somewhat.. organized. I'd put a Things To Do section.. a Things To Remember section.. Upcoming Important Events section.. Random Pictures section (if only I have a Polaroid).. Random Mag Cut-out Articles section.. among other things that would eventually come to me. I just need to work on the design. Ribbons would be a given. Maybe I should check out the scrapbook section at the mall some time. I'll post a pic of it here when I'm done.
*sigh* I'll post my Tag answers here later. I'm still procrastinating on that, sorry. Well, gotta eat dinner now. It's rather late, I know. I woke up late too anyway. Peace out.
Labels: melancholy, plans, random, schedule, school
I need to know "what is".
