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Wednesday, September 30, 2009 @ 11:46 PM

mood: ok
listening to: Violin Romance #2 - Beethoven

For the first time, I saw and heard someone play the violin in person. There was no mic in front of the violinist so we couldn't really hear the melody much. Too bad. It could've been a Nodame Cantabile moment. [Except that it wasn't a music competition nor an orchestra.]

I suddenly want to ask my cousin Ate Sarah to play the violin for me. Too bad we're not close. I don't even know where in Switzerland she lives in now.

Anyway, I was saddened by the fact that I have these dreams of being able to play 3 musical instruments (the flute, the piano, and the violin) and not enough time nor money to have [formal] lessons... even for just one.

When I was a freshman in high school, I got interested with the sound of the flute. It's so peaceful. I had a one-day lesson with a friend, Suzanne Baines. She's in a band at school. She lent me her flute.. or well, a part of it: the mouthpiece. She said that one must properly blow in order to create the right sounds. She told me it took her more than like 3 days to properly blow through the mouthpiece. In an hour or so, I got the hang of it. It made me wonder if I actually have a musical talent... or if she's just being an encouraging pal.

But thanks, Suzanne. I will forever remember you for that. That and your awesome shade of natural red hair.

The next day I drew a girl wearing a kimono, sitting under a tree playing the flute. Here it is:

Yeah, it's last 2002. It's old as you can see with the paper.

closer look

My desk is also old. It looks disorganized but it's actually organized.

If you study and/or analyze my drawing closely, you'll notice what my current problem was that year.

Anywa, my flute craze passed over the years. Somehow.. when I look back to how I got interested in it in the first place, it was probably because during that year, I crave peace and tranquility. I'm not going to elaborate much on how I really do need peace that year. Maybe later. Anyway, aside from that reason, it was also perhaps because in that period of early adolescence, I am in dire need to develop an identity. It was an unconscious desire. A cousin of mine plays the violin, two play piano, one plays the guitar and one plays the drums. In the back of my mind, maybe I want something to cast me aside from them but on a certain level, be one of them too.

Ah, the adolescent years.

About the piano.. even when I was little, I am pretty much attracted to piano pieces. I used to have like one of those piano/keyboard toys that kids play with. I was serious about it though. I even composed a few short pieces. I wasn't familiar with the notes back then so I'd just label the keys with numbers and list those numbers. I was a bit ambitious about my pieces. Some took days to compose, some took like a week. I think they're really good, not the "a kid made this crap" good, no. I wish you guys could hear it. I wonder where they are now.

Around a decade ago, I watched this movie called Little Secrets when we were at my Tita Cherry's house. She had cable and that movie was on HBO. It stars Evan Rachel Wood, Michael Angarano, and David Gallagher. I didn't know Wood and Angarano that time but I do know of David Gallagher because we used to watch 7th Heaven religiously on Studio 23. Anyway, it was on that time when I first got facinated with the violin.

Years passed and at the time I got addicted to Jdramas, I found this one called Nodame Cantabile. The title was very familiar to me because I would always come across the manga at National Bookstore. I thought I'd try it since a lot of people are raving about it. I wanted to rate it myself. When I watched a couple of episodes, I noticed, I couldn't get away from it! I just had to go onto the next one. That was how the series got to me. It was awesome. I seriously recommend it. My friend May doesn't really like classical music nor Jdramas. In fact, she really doesn't like Jdramas. I practically forced her to finish at least like an episode. As it turned out, I had to force her to stop watching or else she won't come to her class!

Anyway, in connection with Nodame Cantabile, I really loved watching the characters play their instruments. I loved watching and listening to Nodame and Chiaki as well as Kiyora Miki. I never knew how much an orchestra could trigger emotions like that. It sounds a bit cheesy, but seriously, I cried in some parts. In other parts, I found myself swaying a bit from the music. I simply love it. I downloaded a bunch of pieces from the internet. Some of them I transfered to my back-up EHD, Max, that got corrupted. So sad. My favorite ones are still here though. What a relief. The cds cost a lot. I checked.

So there. I appreciate and marvel at different forms of art. Just as I've tried sketching, drawing, painting, photography, and others, I'd like to experience music... To not merely listen. I'd like to create music and be able to share the music that I create.

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I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Intrams 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009 @ 12:06 AM

I'm still working on the intrams pics.
I'll post them later this week.
Or next.


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Feast of St. Augustine 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009 @ 11:32 PM

mood: ok
listening to: I Write Sins Not Tragedies - Panic At The Disco

We're been so busy with schoolwork recently. It's rather hard to find time to do other things. I found myself craving sleep on the most inconvenient times. On my free time [what I would like to call as "moments to keep my sanity"], I'd read YA fiction, edit photos to blog, play games at Facebook [Pet Society, Happy Farm.. currently addicted to Farmville.. occassionally go to Typing Maniac and Buddy Poke..], watch stuff on Youtube, and at times I'd go to Plurk.

I must say, in the past, I'm one of those people who'd get mad and comment to others about them messing around other stuff instead of doing schoolwork. Now I understand why they'd to that and still get their schoolwork done. It's because you cannot not have a break. You have to clear your mind from stress. As long as you don't use your free time to procrastinate, then doing other seemingly unimportant activities every once in a while is fine. (Seemingly unimportant to others, but not to you-- is what I meant.) You need to de-stress too, you know. You're not a machine.

So there. Other than those stuff that I do, I also eat snacks. I hit a new level of skinny-ness now with my dark circles. I look horrible. So in every waking hour here at home, I'd eat. They're mostly unhealthy stuff though. Well, most snacks are, right? I know they're bad but I'm hoping it'll keep me from becoming a character from Nightmare Before Christmas [Jack]. So yeah. I mostly eat Fita, Hello Panda, Brownies, cakes, and Lays nowadays. Sugar will keep me alive with schoolwork. Unfortunately, after that, I'd suffer.

I'm also currently addicted to milk tea. It ain't good for my health especially since I rarely drink water now. Tea in the morning, tea in the afternoon, tea at night, tea at midnight, tea after midnight... Yup, my water intake took a turn for the worse. I am ashamed as soon as I realized it. I'm unconsciously killing my kidneys. I'm shooo shooooorry. I'll go back to my water-hydrating regimen, I promise.

On the brighter side, if I was addicted to coffee and drank like.. oh 7 times a day in mugs.. then I'd probably be a few feet under the soft, earthy soil now. It's a good thing my superego reacts so much every time I thought of the word "coffee".

So yeah. Anyway, I'm blogging today about the recent activity we had at school: the Feast of St. Augustine! [08.28.2009] We collaborated with Sebcom, the organization of AB Mass Communications, since they're the other course within our College, the College of Arts and Sciences. Thus, we're called as CAS.

Here are the photos of the event:

Feast of St. Augustine [08.28.2009]

As I was in the crowd, taking shots of the karakol dance competition, I saw a very good pattern of hats. I tried to get a good angle of them. This was the result.

I love it. This is my favorite shot.

Perhaps this week, I'll get to post about Intrams week as a sort of catharsis from the busy schedule.

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I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Your Talent
Wednesday, September 23, 2009 @ 7:52 PM

listening to: Calling All Angels - Train

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours."
~ Ayn Rand; Atlas Shrugged

"Just remember, don't let him take it[your talent]."
~ Jake Jagielski; One Tree Hill


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

SIGNS, a short film
Monday, September 21, 2009 @ 10:33 PM

the description:
One of the 2009 Cannes Lions winners!

A simple short film about communication.
Created by Publicis Mojo and @RadicalMedia
Director: Patrick Hughes

I love it.

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I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Too Much Eff in Less Than 10mins.
Thursday, September 17, 2009 @ 4:36 PM

mood: really pissed
listening to: none

It's been so long since I've been really, really, really pissed off at someone.
It's bordering the word "loathe" now and I never thought it'd come to that.
I've tolerated people dissing me but what happened earlier in the day really set me off.

I talked to Ate She about the person who pissed me off.
I have never used the F word so much in less than 10 minutes.
But venting was not enough.

I bought a cheap pencil and broke it.
It was rather easy to break and I hated that.
I should've bought a better one.
Then I'd get the satisfaction of breaking it.

I was too mad to cry.
I do not want to see that person ever again.
Effin' narcissist, self-centered, sadistic p.o.s!

I'm gonna go back to reading Macbeth.


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

It's too important to me.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 @ 7:45 AM

listening to: Calling All Angels - Train

"I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith, or a fading summer, or just a moment of clarity. It's like when you go and see a really great band, live for the first time, you know, and nobody's saying it, but everybody's thinking it: we have something to believe in again. I want to draw that feeling, but I can't. And if I can't be great at it then I don't want to ruin it. It's too important to me."
~ Peyton Sawyer; One Tree Hill

That's exactly how I feel.
It's too important to me.


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".