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Saturday, January 30, 2010 @ 11:55 PM

I know this should be the time when I'd talk about what happened during our retreat, but I've no urge to and there are other things I should focus on. This doesn't mean that I won't ever talk about it, I'm sure I will.

About my other entries to which I kinda left hanging-- I'll get on it after midterms and our defense.
me: My finger! It's bleeding internally that's why you can't see the blood! Coz it's all internaaaaaal~!
May: .. *dangerous, annoyed tone* Would you like to bleed externally?


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Happiness and Contentment: Similarity, Difference, and the Connection
Sunday, January 24, 2010 @ 1:35 PM

listening to: Jumper by Third Eye Blind

I have just spent like 15minutes or so thinking and typing about this quotation that a friend of mine posted on his Facebook status days ago:
"Being contented and being happy are two different things. You may be contented but not happy and you may be happy but still not contented. Which one should you choose?
I'll post the stuff that I typed once I'm done editing it.. coz my thoughts might appear incoherent if I simply paste what I typed here. But that would mean later on this evening. I lost the drive na kasi.

I wish I also majored in Philosophy or even just Logic so I could "argue better".


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Serious Character Analyzing Mood
Friday, January 22, 2010 @ 10:59 PM

I just watched Clueless. RIP Brittany Murphy. I plan to do a character analysis [probably won't be as good as it sounds] because I'm in that mood. LOL I might post it up later depending if I see it fit to post. Doing an in-depth character analysis will take me days to complete so I'd rather just type whatever comes to mind. Yup, free.

So yeah.

Labels: ,

I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Sucked Energy
@ 6:39 PM

state: pensive
listening to: Replay by IYAZ

Schoolwork and my expectations for myself is draining the life outta me.
I don't dare to go near any weighing scale, not that I have one [coz I don't].
The very presence of it makes me sad.

I'm glad that we'll be graduating soon only because I'll be free from academic anxiety.
But really, the downside is... I'll miss my friends terribly.
You know you could live without your loved ones... but it's not the same as living with them.
(I was gonna type "but what's the point?" then I realized how... it brings to mind suicidal tendencies. As a psychology major, I must choose my words carefully. Then again, I always do. )

There's also no doubt I'll miss school life.

But then again, I'll be back on school for Spanish lessons at Cervantes.

So now I'll just hang on.
I almost resemble a zombie and my clothes don't fit me [again] anymore.
But come vacation and I'll transform.

I'll transform.

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I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Asan Nga Ba Ako
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 @ 10:46 PM

listening to: Migraine by Moonstar88

You have to analyze your feelings first before you dive any further.

They're all different.

You can love someone without being in love with him/her.
Just because you think of him/her constantly doesn't mean it's love. It could be obsession.
When you miss someone, it doesn't mean you still love him/her. Missing is just missing. You could be trying to put something that isn't there naturally.
You enjoy his/her company because [s]he is really a fun person. Are you attracted to him/her or just his/her personality?

And there will be times when you're totally oblivious of what really is happening.

It's that time when you think [s]he is no more than a friend or an acquaintance to you. Gradually, sympathy would evolve to care and care will evolve into like, then eventually love. But it's still different from being in love, isn't it?

When you put a word on a feeling, somehow it intensifies, doesn't it?

That's why don't conclude right away.

Sometimes it's just hormones. Pretty misleading. It could pass.

Do you stop your feelings before it evolves?

What are you afraid of?

Do you deliberately push yourself to feel something that is not naturally there?

Who are you fooling?

Is it worth it?

Oh dear, my thoughts are all over the place, I wonder if there's any consistency among them.

Oh well. I'll leave it like that.

One last thing: dear reader, I hope you see through the lies and the facade. A lot of people are masters of manipulation and deceit.

It's nice how I tend to blog a lot recently. Hope I didn't jinx it.


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Smoke In The Livingroom Makes Me Cheerful?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010 @ 12:48 PM

mood: cheerful [?! lol]
listening to: none

I was cooking a hotdog this morning. Yes, a hotdog. There's onlyone left. Can't believe it? Can't believe why on earth would someone leave a hotdog and not just cook it with the rest of the batch? Well, it amazes me too.

So anyway, I thought I set the stove on minimum fire [is that how it's called?]. I went upstairs to log on the internet and check some stuff; the usual routine.

In a few minutes I started to smell smoke in my room. I freaked out when I saw the smoke actually crawling from the staircase.

I quickly went down to the kitchen and found myself squinting through the smoke that enveloped the entire room.

I saw the pan. It looked like there was tornado or a cyclone or something... of smoke.

"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

I swear, it looked facinating.

The hotdog wasn't even visible at that moment though so I hurriedly turned off the stove and tried to shoo away the smoke with pot holders. Yeah, not really effective. I went to the livingroom and turned on the electric fan, hoping that my neighbors won't think my place is really burning.

"No, I'm fine. The hotdog's not though."

That would be embarassing.

Nah, they won't think that... the smoke smelled like grilled food, so...

So when I got bored trying to shoo away the smoke and ventilate the room, I decided to call Ate Val about the quiz this afternoon. When I was talking with her, she remarked, "Hey your voice sound cheerful today!"

Translation: "What's up? Any good stories you'd like to share with me?"

So I told her what happened earlier with the hotdog.

"Only one side was burnt? Was it black?" she managed to ask while laughing so hard.

"Yeah, it's like Two-Face!"

So... can someone tell me if there's like some chemical reaction to the human body when we smell smoke? It doesn't make anyone high though, right?

Nah, I'm just kidding.

My throat is starting to hurt now though.


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".