profile | tagboard | quotes | fanlistings | site | entries

Rings Are Circle: It Stands for Infinity
Sunday, May 29, 2011 @ 1:41 PM


listening to: To Make You Feel My Love by Josh Kelley

He wanted us to have a couples ring. Since he's been dropping hints about marriage (like. "Let's get married next month!" "When are we getting married?" "I want to spend everyday with you." "I see myself old, sitting on a rocking chair.. on my house terrace, smiling.. and you're there beside me.." and other statements), I'd like to view our future rings as promise rings or engagement rings. Sterling silver is all we could afford right now since we're fresh grads with no salaries yet. Anyway, the ladies who assisted us with the rings kept giggling. I got rather amused.

We had our fingers sized. He's a size 6 and I'm a size 3. I'm half his size-- how cool is that? Unfortunately, at Unisilver (SM Rosario), the smallest available size they have is 4. I already have shoe size problems (having a size 5 for feet) and then now, this. I expected that I have a rather unusually small ring size which would lead to limited ring choices-- however, I didn't expect a nada. *sigh*

Bryan said, we'd go look for other stores for my size. We won't look at other Unisilver branches since none of them sell size 3 rings apparently. (Our first choice to go to is Silverworks but there's no branch there.) He said that if ever we won't find any soon, then we'd just have to look for a place for customization. (Is that a legit word? Too lazy to look it up atm.) I told him that if we find none, I'd settle for a size 4 and put it on my middle finger or poiting finger... or put it on my ring finger with a tape or something (on the bottom side) just so it will stay there secured. He's still quite determined that it won't go to that extent.

I love that determination of his.

He surprised me a lot yesterday. He told me how it will be the first time he'd ever wear a ring (because rings can become rather uncomfortable when worn on a finger, he said). He's the type of guy who only wears a wristwatch and a necklace--but rarely. Hmmmmm He even jokingly said how it's great that he's willing to make life-altering choice of wearing a permanent accessory because of me... because he wants the acknowledgement that we're couples. He wants the world to know that we're tied to each other, that he's taken. It's one of the most romantic and heart-warming lines I've ever heard from him. He never fails to make me happy and swoon. I'm so happy I love him and I have him in my life. What means so much more is that... he feels the same way about me.

We're crazy for each other. We badly want and need each other. We're so in love.

He is such a blessing.

This, my friend, is what bliss and security is all about.

I'm looking forward to our rings... a symbol for infinity.

On another note:
Happy birthday to my bestfriend, May! I love you, Purda.


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

New Stage in Life: I Feel Blessed
Friday, May 20, 2011 @ 1:18 AM

I will have a job soon as an English and Values teacher at St. Francis school. The commute to get there is less than an hour, traffic included.

I am about to undergo a new stage in my life.

In a way, yes, it will be different because I will have new responsibilities. However, it can be compared to student-type of responsibilities. I mean, seriously, this is how I view it:

students - school
teachers - school

students - learn
teachers - teach (and learn)

Non-academic activities:
students - participate
teachers - administer (and at times, maybe participate too)

Post school hours and weekends:
students - projects, homeworks, study for quizzes and tests
teachers - make lesson plans and tests, compute grades, check papers

So yeah.. let's say the teachers have more things to do because there are a lot of students. Like this:

students - have 7-10 teachers - if all give homework, then = 7-10 homeworks
teachers - have 100 students (approximate) in 5 sections, then = 5 homeworks (in a sense)

So yeah. I think (for now) that the teaching experience is sorta like being a student too plus the paycheck. I will manage my time wisely so that I can manage my time for my boyfriend, friends, and my health.

During my tough times of being busy and failing physical and emotional health, really, all I need are the support of my loved ones, sleep, goal-driven determination, and God.
I feel a bit more accomplished now.
I mean, I have a kind, patient, loving, beautiful mother who I love very much.
I have a wonderfully awesome boyfriend who I am deeply in love with and whom I can see myself with in decades.
I have friends who are protective, supportive, and caring of me.
They all love me very much.

I have a roof over my head, food on the table and ref, clothes that are in good condition, and some luxuries like the internet, books, and girl stuff.

Now, I have a job. I will soon earn money. I will not view myself as a worthless person anymore. I bet I will also love my students.

I feel blessed. I am never ungrateful.
Sure, there are times when I get overwhelmed and my mood's not that good (like any other individual), but still... I am aware that I am blessed.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, Lord.
I live.

Labels: , , ,

I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Ang Lumbay ng Wala Ka
Monday, May 16, 2011 @ 3:16 PM

Lagi naman ako mag-isa.
Pero hindi na ako sanay ngayon.
Nakakalumbay na walang taong buhay sa buong bahay, tulog man ako o gising.
Ang pinakamamahal ko pa ay hindi ko makausap kahit sa telepono na nga lang.

Nakakalumbay at nakakatamad mabuhay.
Ayoko ng ganito.
Utang na loob, sambutin mo uli ako.


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

Mourning Morning
Sunday, May 15, 2011 @ 12:18 PM

"Ngayon lang!" he said through his gritted teeth.

She shivered. The last thing he said that night echoed through her ears. It kept screaming in her mind. She could still feel the emotion behind it. She could still recall the intensity from each word, the intonation, the stress, the volume, and the pitch. It burned her chest more than her ears.

"I'm sorry," she managed to choke out.

After the grueling morning of guilt, her mind is now set to earning his forgiveness and making him feel better. If only it's better to reason with him, to tell him that he misinterpreted and generalized what she said-- that it's inaccurate-- a misunderstanding, but no. When one is still emotional and quite focused on a very sensitive issue, one's ear is shut. While one ear is shut close, the heart overthrows the mind.

She knows what she said was wrong. It also came out wrong and she should have thought that it would make him sensitive in the matter. However, she realized this after she said it. It is always wrong for the mouth to take action first when the heart is backing it up, while not consulting the mind first. She knows this. Still, it happened.

"Let me suffer, I'll take it. But please, let him realize that I still want to make this work and that I love him no less than I did before," she whispered to no one. "I always love him despite anything."

Labels: ,

I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".