mood: mas o menos
listening to: How To Dream - Sam Phillips

My gosh I eat too much [nowadays].
My stomach feels like it's gonna burst.
... But I still wanna eat.
I hate feeling bloated though.




BTW, I'm done with my blog layout.
[I actually finished a layout! Hoorah!]

I might apply it in the next day or so.
I still have to work on the links section.
Some of my friends have abandoned their sites so...
Yeah...
Update, update.


It's "Midterm Week" this week!
Happy New Month starting tomorrow la!


Now I really want another brownie.

Labels: blog updates, random

I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

mood: pissed
listening to: none

Person A is a "good" person. Person A then commits a mistake once or twice. Person A becomes an eye-sore to the population.
Person B is a "bad" person. Person B did something good one or twice. Person B becomes an idol to the population.

let's just say...
"good" - moral
"bad" - immoral


How strange it is that people like Person As better than Person Bs nowadays.
As if one or two mistakes take away years of good deeds.
As if one or two successes/correctness take away years of bad deeds.

It's as if committing a mistake for once degrades a person's worth.
It's as if doing something good for once can justify years of sins.

"Goodbye, good reputation."
"Hello, good reputation."

What, is it just like that? Snap and that's it?


Some people are too close-minded and/or arrogant to think more about this.
They don't analyze the person.
They don't care about the feelings of the people they criticize.



In saddens me.
But it sickens me even more.

Labels: ponder

I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

mood: I feel accomplished!
listening to: Utada Hikaru - Flavor of Life

Ok, I edited my 3 most recent blog entries: elaborated them, added pics and vids, and made it one-- like a burger. Err... yeah. Now that made me hungry. Anyway! So this entry is very long and vid-packed, so... enjoy watching... if nothing else.


[07.18.2009]

Cinemalaya 5inco was great. I loved all the films we saw. The short films were good too. Franchez, you should go watch! =D
Thank you so much Pong!

For those who do not know what Cinemalaya is-- it's a film festival held annually in the Philippines (specifically at the Cultural Center of the Philippines in Metro Manila). It features Filipino independent full-length films as well as short films (known as "shorts").

These are the short films that I saw:
[Shorts A]
Andong
Diamante Sa Langit
Maikling Kwento
Putot
Trails of Water

Pong was right on time [perhaps early] there so he got to watch all of 'em. Unfortunately, because I was late [grr] I did not get to watch some of them-- but the ones that I did saw where nice.

The first one was about two brothers who were quite excited to go to this like festival [I really don't know what the celebration was] in a meadow to fly their kite. By the time the siblings came to the meadow, the celebration was over. But that did not stop them from flying the kite. That's especially the part I like. I saw a lot of symbols: the kite, the siblings, the celebration/festival, etc. It could mean a lot of things: The kite symbolizes success as it soars high in the sky. The festival could be like... celebrating the success of these individuals. When the brothers came and found out that the celebration was over, it didn't stop them from flying their kite. Perhaps there's the "no matter what happens, as long as my family’s here" theme. Or it could mean freedom… as the kite flies high in the sky, ready to go wherever the wind takes him. [I'm not going to dive into defiance as the meaning of the kite, you know, with the whole "you can soar in the sky however you want, but you're tied to me" --since the kids exude happiness and contentment.]



...or all the things I said are completely wrong or that I over-analyzed something so simple.

The second one I saw was about this lady whose son [or was it grandson? Oh gosh I forgot na...] recently passed away. The wake was held at this tiny chapel. She was the only one there most of the time. Guess they don’t have relatives around [or they don’t have relatives, period]. Needless to say, she was sad and miserable. One day, a boy came followed by his father. They talked and she felt somewhat consoled. "Misery loves company", after all. I feel so sorry for the woman. It's so hard being alone. The first scene- the bathroom scene—was particularly heartbreaking.

The third movie I saw was set on an obscure village. Residing there was this sort of a… tribe. There was a little girl there who couldn’t speak... or wouldn't. I’m not sure. But it could be... perhaps a sign of Post Traumatic Stress [PTS]. [Take note: loss of speech, refusal to speak, and impaired speech are all different.] There was an incident in her life when people in their village were being murdered and she witnessed it. A close family member was killed. She escaped. Her father resents her afterwards. Maybe he blames her for the incident, I don't know. What I do know is-- she's his daughter. The poor kid witnessed a massacre, give her a break! She's already having a hard time adjusting, the kids in the village make fun of her, and she can't go to school [because she can’t speak... or for whatever reason- if there is other than that]. At least she was alive. Poor girl.

Near the end of the film, it was shown that she's gonna undergo some sort of ritual. [I didn't understand it.] It showed how she wants her father to appreciate her and that she wants her family to be proud of her.

Some people just want something as little as acceptance or recognition... Why is it hard to give? Why? I'd understand it if that person is really bad, to the point that people can’t help but shun him/her, but that little girl is innocent. So sad.


After lunchtime, we immediately went to see the full length films. Here are the trailers of the three films we saw [not in order]. I got the synopsis from the main site.


Dinig Sana Kita

Sana Ako'y Marinig

Nais kong sumilong sa dilim ng iyong halik
Magbulag-bulagan mawala lang ang sakit
Gustong malasing sa kakaibang damdamin
Wala nang ngunit ngunit
Wala ring aamin

Nais lumayo sa mundo kong kulungan
Ako'y nakagapos, walang patutunguhan
Gustong makita ang mundo mo sa kabila
Isang sulyap lang, sana may pag-asa

Kahit di mo ako mahalin
Kahit saan mo ako dalhin
Kahit isang saglit
Wala man kapalit
Sana ako'y marinig

Kahit isang saglit
Wala man kapalit
Bakit di mo ako marinig?

[What can I say? I fell in love with the song.]

Synopsis:
The film is a love story between a Deaf boy who loves to dance and a troubled rocker girl who abuses her hearing. One lives in the world of solitude and silence, the other in noise and fear. Crossing paths in a Baguio camp that mixes Deaf and hearing kids, both find that they have more in common with each other including a love for music.

DINIG SANA KITA is the first Filipino film to have a Deaf Actor in a Lead role. Romalito Mallari is a Deaf performer that has played several stage productions as actor and/or dancer. It also features several Deaf actors in the cast and ensemble.

Insight:
It was one of those "opposites attract" theme of love story. Though it was emphasized that the two of them are different because one can hear and the other can't, I think there's something more to think about than simply the concrete details. Take the terms [used in the synopsis] "solitude and silence" and “noise and fear". They're related. In solitude there is the fear of being isolated. Silence can be deafening. See where I'm going here?

The girl in the film feels lonely because of the situation with her parents. It's the somewhat cliché teen angst about lack of parental support / bad home situation = troublesome, lonely teen. It's an issue nowadays that should not be taken lightly. Adolescence is a crucial stage wherein personality is being developed and there is a need to find/develop one's identity.

Whenever the girl feels troubled, she'll seclude herself, diving to her world of noise. Ah contradictions. She feels lonely yet she secludes herself. She wants to "clear" her mind, yet she listens to loud music. On the other hand, the guy is sad because of his own angst but he doesn't seclude himself. He is more accepting. He is more optimistic. He doesn't run away from his problems. He actually does something about them [like giving his mom the ticket to see the show he's in] unlike the girl. Or maybe she's just fed up with trying to communicate with her parents.


Kanya-kanyang way of dealing with things. So...

I must say, I totally didn't expect the ending. The whole time I was thinking, "What's up with that weird buzzing sound she hears?" *sigh* I swear, how could I miss that? It's a clue. But anyway, I loved the movie.



Sanglaan


“Ano kaya ang nararamdaman ng mga taong may-ari ng gamit na yon na isusubasta namin? Paano kung bigay un sa kanila ng magulang nila? O kapatid? O asawa?”


Synopsis:
Sanglaan looks at seemingly simple relationships and uncomplicated events happening in a very mundane institution. A religious and single-minded businesswoman with a losing proposition, afraid of old age. A timid, vulnerable girl hopelessly in love with a high school crush. A security guard whose wife has a fragile heart. A charming and mysterious seaman just passing through. And a loan shark who won't take "no" for an answer. These are some of the characters that populate the milieu of Sanglaan, a light, funny, poignant and very Pinoy story about hope and redemption.

Insight:
It's about letting go, it's about borrowed time, it's about changes. There are a lot of themes within the relationships in this film: love for your spouse, respect for your spouse, love for your child[ren], love for that special someone, trying to understand someone you "hate", making sacrifices, setting your priorities straight, having a goal and going after it, etc.

I begin to wonder what if it was made into a series instead since it has a lot of possibilities Hmm... ok, wondering stops there. If it was made into a series, it will be... changed. It just wouldn't have that factor, that type of emotional impact… that realistic effect-- Pong said that's the charm of indie films after all. So scratch that. It is at its best—an independent Pinoy film. I'm happy I saw this. The night before we saw this, I searched through youtube for the trailer. lol



Colorum

Unfortunately, I found no Colorum trailer at youtube. Have to settle with the promotional poster:


Synopsis:
Two people. Simon a promising young cop working part-time as a driver of one of the many "undocumented" and 'illegal' FX taxis in the metro. And Pedro, a 70 year old ex-convict. An unfortunate incident forces the two together to embark on a road trip across the Historic Philippine East Coast.

But, what was expected as an escape route doomed to be a domino of crime begetting crime, becomes a wagon of life choices to them and to the people they meet. The film takes a look at the paradox of the human condition, and the "grayscale" morality that is today's Philippines.

Insight:
Sometimes it's the journey that counts, not the destination. Though the two main characters [can't say they're both protagonists, can't say they're antagonists either] became "friends", their relationship was quite rocky. One minute they’re both nice, the next, one of them becomes neurotic [usually Simon] and lethal. They encountered other characters who indirectly changed them: the young lady who wants to abort her child, the preacher who’s corrupts people, a frustrated and suicidal writer, and others with minor roles.

The ending's really tragic but predictable. You can't always have happy endings, after all. I feel so sorry for the old man since the beginning. He's still pitiful in the end. Helpless. Old people begging for forgiveness [especially to their child] is unbearable for me.

But! Though there were a lot of tragic scenes especially in the end, there were a few good laughs too! Really! It was goOoOod.


So there ya go. My first [of the many-to-come-hopefully] Cinemalaya experience.

Here are the list of winners that I got from GMANews.TV.
Best Film: “Last Supper No. 3″
Special Jury Award: “Colorum” and “Ang Panggagahasa Kay Fe” (tie)
NETPAC Award: “Baseco Bakal Boys”
National Council for Children’s Television Award: “Dinig Sana Kita”
Audience Choice (Full Length): “Dinig Sana Kita”
Best Director: GB Sampedro (”Astig”)
Best Actress: Ina Feleo (”Sanglaan”)
Best Actor: Lou Veloso (”Colorum”)
Best Supporting Actress: Tessie Tomas (”Sanglaan”)
Best Supporting Actor: Arnold Reyes (”Astig”)
Best Screenplay: “Nerseri”
Best Cinematography: “24K”
Best Production Design: “Mangatyanan”
Best Editing: “Astig”
Best Musical Score: “Dinig Sana Kita”
Best Sound Recording: “Astig”

Best Short Film: “Bonsai”
Special Jury Award: “Blogog”
Audience Choice (Shorts): “Tatang”
Best Director (Shorts): Dexter B. Cayanes (”Musa”)
Best Screenplay (Shorts): “Behind Closed Doors”

*****


[07.20.2009]
I got to watch Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince at ATC. I should be doing something else entirely different that day but for the sake of spontaneity— I went with them.

Spontaneity!
[I'm starting to like that word. ]

I gotta say this though: bitin. Ugh. I don't know if I liked it or not. There were a lot of humorous scenes, by the way. I didn't expect that. One scene that I was really excited to watch was the death of sir Dumbledore. It was kind of a let down. [No, I'm not a rabid fangirl screaming about this. I'm not gonna say too much "in the book this, in the book that". I'd just like to comment about it.]

Book: Harry was immobilized by Dumbledore. He witnessed the headmaster's death and he couldn't do anything about it. I'm not sure but… I think he was invisible that time too coz of the invisibility cloak so no one other than Dumbledore knew he was there.

Movie: Harry was in some room [below where Dumbledore was] when Snape found him. Dumbledore was cornered by the Death Eaters [mga alagad ni Voldy]. Since Snape pointed his wand at Harry, Harry "couldn’t do anything". Then Dumbledore was killed.

I don't know. I just liked how the book goes "helpless Harry stuck in place". The desperation… the grief... Ah well, there was also those emotions in the movie scene… but just not helpless enough. He was mobile. He could dodge Snape's attacks for all we would know. [Since he's such a boy wonder, special and all that. Ugh.] Then he could make a diversion or something and flee with Dumbledore. But, yeah, since he's just a kid, perhaps he couldn't pull it off. [So he's not such a boy wonder anymore?] Why am I contradicting myself?


Going back to my point: There's just something in the moment… about being immobile while witnessing something so… agonizing. Oh the woe.


Oh well. Kanya-kanyang interpretasyon nga naman.

Moving on! Here are some pics I took that night. [It's very posed, funny.] I loved hanging out with Jonah, Tania, and May.


May and Tania
These two were the most excited about watching HP6.



May, Jonah, Tania, and yours truly.
We found a guy nearby and threatened him to take a picture of us. LOL Nah, we asked himawkwardly nicely.



This was taken outside the mall.
Target sign: Cinemas



This shot was supposed to be the lights hanging on tree branches.
It looked nothing like it, no?
That is because just when I clicked on the shutter, someone jerked my arm. Thus, it produced this blurred image.
May thinks it’s cool. I think her inner artistic flare was up that night.
It looked more like falling comets than hanging lights.



Guess where we were. XD



May and I: last pic before going home.
I don't know what kind of a funny face I intended to make here. Epic fail.



*****


[08.02.2009]
I browsed around my cookbooks and like always, I had the urge to cook/prepare pasta. Now, really, it happens to me like a hundred times: I browse - I feel the urge - I go to the supermarket - I lose the urge. No, there's nothing within the supermarket that makes me lose that urge to cook, it makes me more excited actually. I see all these pots and pans and other stainless utensils and... I have the urge to like buy 'em all. I drift to cooking wonderland where I am a good chef [not master chef— I could never upstage my family] and I have great time with meat and vegetables. But then after that excitement, well... I dunno. I just lose it.

So! I realized how I'll never get anywhere if that always happens— so! I simply have to force myself. I went to the supermarket on Saturday, got the ingredients that I want, and cooked the pasta on Sunday. I didn’t follow the exact recipe. I omitted some ingredients, I added some... ok, ok, perhaps I completely altered it. I can be fickle sometimes. So yeah, I made my own Italian spaghetti... with broccoli... just coz I crave for broccoli... so tempting. I put plenty of Parmesan cheese too. *totally didn't care na too much of it ay bawal*

So there goes the pic. I know, I know. Presentation = 0pts. I was hungry by the time it was done, so...

Oh wait, I know you had to ask: so how was it? Does it taste good? Does it taste awful? Does it even have a taste?
Well! It tastes… fine, actually. I just think I put a little bit too much ground black pepper though. Lol But it wasn't bad. Hooray!

This is the beginning of my legend!
[not]
This is the beginning of my cooking experience!

I just wish my mom was here. She'll love to criticize me in the kitchen.


*****


There are 2 movies I'd like to watch this month:
The Time Traveler's Wife
- based on the novel (I knew it sounds awfully familiar!)
- sci-fi, romance


The song on the trailer is Broken by Lifehouse (--a favorite).

Post Grad
- just coz I like to watch Alexis Bledel on screen (LOL) and seems interesting.. perhaps something about it will inspire my future post grad self about.. whatever lol..



Another movie I'd like to watch that I don't know yet when it'll be released is: Veronika Decides To Die. It's also based from a novel. Sarah Michelle Gellar plays Veronika and Paulo Coelho liked her performance. I must watch this (then I might read the book).




*****


For next year, here is the movie I can’t wait to watch!
Tim Burton's take on Alice In Wonderland!
I love fairytales that are altered. I love fairytales that go modern. I love fairytale remakes. Hee hee hee...
Just as a long as it's not corny, too mushy, or shallow.

I found the teaser on youtube.
I love the costumes.
Can't wait.

Labels: awesome, event, melancholy, movie, ponder, psychology, video

I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".

When you hear people greet you "Happy Birthday!"
with their big smiles...
it's as if...
they are reminding you
that they are happy and grateful
you were born in this world,
that you touched their lives,
and became part of yours.


I wish I won't lose this feeling.

I love you guys.
=')




The clock strikes twelve.

Labels: event

I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".