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Strength: You'll Find It Inside Me
Saturday, September 11, 2010 @ 10:19 PM

I guess... you forgot how strong I am.
I have always been.

And I guess... you forgot that sms you sent to me during my birthday week, the time when Lem was sick.
You said I'm strong-willed, independent, and responsible... that it's not hard to love me.
That hasn't changed and it will never change, because yes, that is me... The "best kind of girlfriend".. "understanding".. "patient".. "kind".. "forgiving".. "masarap mahalin".. "hindi mahirap pakisamahan".. "mabait".. at kung anu-ano pang naiisip/nasasabi ng mga tao.. at kung anu-ano pang online quizzes with the same results ang nag-de-describe sa akin...

I am not all those just to please people.
I am not all those just to be praised.
I am not all those to be liked.
I am all those because that is me.

Yes, I do hurt at times because I miss you terribly.. I'd like to spend time with you.. talk to you.. However, the pain, disappointments, and whatnots will not change how much I love you.
It's just like my favorite Shakespeare sonnet:
Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose Worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom:
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
~ William Shakespeare; Sonnet CXVI

Big or small life-changing events.. misunderstandings.. "arguments".. others of the like.. we'll survive it.
I believe in us and our love for each other.
Yes, even if you're weak-willed, pessimistic, negative, and depressive.
I believe it's good to have these challenges. It makes us grow and evolve together. Besides, it's inevitable in any relationship. If there were none of these, then there's clearly something wrong. LOL

I'll give you space for a week since that's what you want.. though really, since I don't demand much; even from before you do have enough space.. well, from my perspective, at least. I won't text as much.

I appreciate all the efforts you give. I appreciate even the little time and attention you give. I know you are hurting too. Who wouldn't be, right? Tiis-tiis muna, ganyan ka ka-busy eh. If you [start to] resent schoolwork or your school-life, do not resent me by extension. I have done nothing to hinder your academic progress and you know well how I fully support on that and education in general.

I agree about what you said, hoping that your lack of time and attention to me won't be an issue. Well, I have no intention about making it an issue. But let's say if ever it does become an issue in the future, we can always talk about it and resolve it.

I wish you are well.

I wish everyone I love is well, even if not happy.
You can't always be happy, you know. Pretty absurd.

I will be fine.
I have been fine; so, yeah no reason not to think/be otherwise.

Cheers to positivity!
No, I am not in denial nor turning a blind eye nor suppressing.
Yes, I can be naive at times but I'm not stupid nor blind. I just prefer to look at the good things, nothing wrong with that.
People should try that more often.
You can have your period of frustration, lethargy, depression, and the like... but then recover afterwards. Learn to stand up and go forward again.

On a side note, I learned a simple piano piece-- a recent favorite song of mine by Augustana. I found another piece, a different version, I'd master it after I master this. This will do for the meantime, since Drix still doesn't have any contact with his friend.
I'm excited to learn. I bought a music book, but I still prefer hands-on tutorial. Iba pag tao ang teacher (hindi internet o libro).

¡Tome el cuidado siempre, mis amigos!

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I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".