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Friday, December 25, 2009 @ 11:32 PM

mood: bleh
listening to: .. the noise coming from the electric fan

Believe it or not, I have like 5-7 entries here on my blogger that I didn't post. [Don't ask. Hmm I may tell the reasons... later. Maybe. Idk.] So yeah. Gone hiatus for so long so to make up for it, here are some stuff that's been going on with my life.. and in my mind [in no order].

* I recently got a laptop. It's a Sony Vaio VPCCW16FG. [originally planned to get a CS model but it's old so they don't sell it anymore. It's white [didn't get the pink one because it will seem unprofessional if I use it for serious stuff later on in my life, the black seems boring for me, and the I don't like to have the purple one]. I named it Vai and though the name seems feminine enough [feminine and... effortless] ... Idk, somehow I still feel like-- if I'm gonna put like a gender label on an object-- that it's more of a male. *shrugs* I know, I'm weird. But yeah. Maybe it's because I have a friend who also has a white Vaio and he's male or maybe because I have Peter [my pc] and it's got a male name? Idk, Ima end this explanation.

* Got wifi now too.

* I still use Peter a lot since the programs and softwares that I'm used to are there and I like to use the mouse.

* I availed for scholarship at my college. If only I had like a 91 [for my lowest grade] then I could probably get the "100%" discount/money back on tuition fees with my average. Instead, I could just avail maximum of "75%". Ah well, better than nothing. [I just don't feel like I deserve it.]

* It seems I have more FML moments in my life recently than all the past years combined. On the bright side, those experiences made me more mature, helped me grow, you know, made me realize a lot of important things [usually dark ones, the dark side of reality], and changed some of my beliefs. Ok, so most of them made me sorta darker but I get to appreciate light more. If that made sense. Huh.

* The plan to go to Switzerland to study Spanish is cancelled. I'll study at Instituto Cervantes in Manila as previously planned. I am both relieved and sad. Relieved that we won't have additional expenses and that I would have more fun "dressing up" our future home. Sad-- simply because, dude, it's a "vacation" in Europe. (My other relatives who live in Germany would ask me to come visit them too.)

* I'm so worried about our thesis. I'm so worried that we won't have enough time to finish it by graduation.

* My lip condition is getting worse. I guess I'll blog about it when I'm ready. From my research, if my prognosis is right, it's nothing fatal and it's not contagious... as long as it won't swell. Then that's cancerous.

* I kept forgetting to schedule ultrasound check-up for my kidneys. It's been months, too long. My doctor's probably mad at me already.

* I'm scared that I won't graduate.

* I'm scared what becomes of me when I do graduate.

* But I'm also quite excited about graduating. I won't be worried about grades for a long time. Such rest is much needed for my brain. Free from academic anxieeeeeeeety!

* Then I'll get to worry about my Spanish classes.

* Lost weight. Kept sleeping though. WTH, right? I mean usually vacation breaks like this most people would complain how they gained so much weight and that they hated it. When will I get to have that moment? [Probably when I'm already in my 40s.]

* The craze for playing Cafe World ended. I still like it, don't get me wrong. I'm just not as crazy about it like a few weeks back. Guess it happened when I got all the decorations that I want. I still love my cafe though. It's wish fulfillment, seeing it everyday. So even though my craze died, I still play it.

* So happy CardGamesFTW [LittleKuriboh] won the Mashables open web awards. You deserve it. You and your "team". [KROOOOOZE! lol and those who manage the site] You're awesome, man!

* I can't wait to watch Avatar: the last Airbender and Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland next year!

* Might spend New Year's Eve at Jonah's with her family and possibly, May. She said she'll go but I don't know if she asked permission yet.

* As it turned out, I'm not going to change this blog's layout any time soon, so... Bleh. And I was so hyped about it months ago.

* Our house is starting to take shape. I went there to the site to talk to the engineer and check it out. Maybe I'll put pics of it here later.

* A friend of mine cancelled on me on the last minute. Sad. On the rescheduled hang-out day, didn't show up, didn't even send me a notice. So I guess I was stood up. Disappointed. It makes me wonder why I continue to believe or trust in these kinds of people. *sigh*

* Had the driest Christmas ever in my life. [The 24th was better.] Past experiences had been, you know, boring or sad or whatever but really, this time I didn't even have the interest to turn on the television or watch a Christmas movie or stuff myself with my favorite food. I spent the day on the internet, watching old youtube videos, took a bath, made chicken and corn soup, ate an apple, talked to Mom and Tito Ji for a few minutes, talked to a friend [via sms-- until it was cut because of "busy network"], and well, typing this blog. No, I didn't go outside. I didn't eat lunch. I'm so bad that I didn't go to mass. This is like the only year that it happened. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel terrible almost all the time.

But anyway, Merry Christmas everyone. I sincerely hope you'll enjoy the rest of your holidays. We go back to school on the 4th of January, too soon, I know. [I hate it.] So there ya go. Ima come back here soon for other updates.

Love and Peace


I want to stop wondering "what-ifs".
I need to know "what is".